Inching Out Of Dry-Dock

The official, first of many, shopping trips for the new shop kicked off today. The ever-important storage shelves were procured, ensuring our coffee won't be stored on the floor, a good start indeed. After downloading Google SketchUp I got to work yesterday on designing our to-be counter for the new vessel and Summer and I settled on the tenaciously named wall paint color of "Relentless Olive"; an appropriate beginning! We are getting closer to finalizing a deal on a roaster, a Diedrich IR 3. Our last couple of roaster finds were scooped up by other buyers prior to our pulling of the trigger. Due to this, I have been exercising my trigger finger, and it is getting a lot faster thanks to Gun Club Mojito Cup Challenges.

Last night brought another new challenger to the range, but it was Dave (of Alldredge fame) who was the "hot shot" and snatched victory from the wily veterans of Gun Club. Good show Dave, and thanks for bringing the 30-30, a fun gun. It looks as if Monday evenings are a good fit for Gun Club, so if you are so inclined, come by the HypnoVessel, Highland Prospects, or Hellbender Burritos and inquire within.

As always I shall keep you abreast of each step as the HypnoVessel prepares to move to new portage.

Calm After The Storm

A much different sky yesterday, photo is 2007's start.

The grey skies couldn't deter the many hard-core runners and cyclists yesterday. Mackie reported sixty (60) riders competed in the Revenge of the Rattlesnake Ultra Bicycle Race, a very good turnout. The Tour of Davis 5K garnered over three hundred (300) registrants! Wow, Charlie and I didn't stand a chance. Charlie tanked before the gun sounded, practically sleeping in my arms pre-race and I was forced to shuttle him around the course via our trusty jogging stroller. Maybe next year I can coax him to run the entire event. I did train with him this summer and Charlie is up to running a mile and a half, a great achievement that I hope will come to fruition with a race completion next year. The hectic and rainy yesterday has yielded to a calming and pleasant drizzle, a perfect day for napping or enjoying the company of our neighbors in the White Room.

Honey-Do List Made Easy

I have chased enough of you around the shop to know you can run. Tomorrow morning brings another Run For It Davis 5k (10am at the Davis Fire Hall) and I expect to see you all there, and since this is a charity run may I suggest you run for Tucker County Trails. The Trails Club does the often thankless work of trail maintenance, bridge building over streams, and the unenviable task of meeting and negotiating with land managers, representatives of the National Forest Service, State Forest Service, Wildlife Refuge, et. al. I need more Trails Club runners (lightening fast ringers please) and I know you want to show out for your home turf trails. After the run stop under the big tent and visit with the Director, who'll be slinging coffee and Gary's goodies.

Were you wondering where to go Sunday? I, again have you covered. Our Front Street friends and neighbors, The White Room, are holding a Grand Opening. You already know the work and the gang responsible for it, now go and party like rock stars with our newest gallery owners/celebrities. The music, fellowship, and of course booze is worth the time!

Now you know who to run for, and where the after-party is Sunday, lucky you!

The Cat Is Out Of The Bag

Before

All of those services, plus no whip double skinny vanilla latte.

I know you're sweet, but you don't melt and I know your mettle is tough as steel, but you don't rust. We've all played on a wet field before and this weekend will be no different. The forecast may be bleak, but the Leaf Peepers festival shall sally forth. I know it's a drag, but if you don't attend you won't be afforded the chance to support your local vendors and...see our big secret, (which most of you know already). That's the problem with such a tight community, there are no secrets. I have done my best to play up our news (and it is a big deal for us), so much so that the Director had to ask. Yes, the big secret is that your favorite coffee shop (yes, HypnoCoffee) is moving to Davis! As most of you already know, the HypnoFamily lives in Davis and has always wanted the HypnoVessel to be moored in Davis, well our fate has changed since we opened one (1) year ago and now space is available in Davis. Part of living in a remote community such as ours is the good fortune of not having to commute. The HypnoFamily looks forward to the provincial lifestyle afforded to those that walk to work.

The new space is on the western side of the festival grounds, in the old service station. The space has been undergoing renovation recently (thanks Pete and Larry) and is looking great, but don't take my word for it, walk through the new vessel during Leaf Peepers. Step out on the new deck, imagine you're holding a macchiato, sitting beneath the heated umbrellas, peering out onto the Blackwater River, thinking how lucky you are to be taking this in, and then coming back inside to pick up your cheesecake and tell me how much you like our being there. Sounds good; see you at Leaf Peepers!

The Planets Are Against Me...And You

Why art thou in retrograde?

Makes me feel better.

Technical difficulties, try as they might to keep us apart, are being put to bed one (1) at a time; let us continue our dialog... Some of you know this, but prior to being a coffee magnate I was a humble biomedical technician, repairing medical devices. While playing that role in San Francisco as a young man, working as a scab contractor for the company formally known as Hewlett Packard (oh yes, they manufacture medical equipment and your computer's printer) I seemed to be periodically overwhelmed with technical difficulties. After one (1) particularly harried day I vented to my Buffalo Natural Foods grocer, James (and no there are no regular grocery stores in San Francisco) about the plethora of technical mayhem, when he tendered the greatest reasoning I have ever heard, or will ever hear. He explained that Mercury was in retrograde, that an alignment of planets placing Mercury into retrograde renders the machines on our planet prone to failure. Wow!

That, of course, is just a copious explanation and round about way of saying; the truck's brake light switch failed, the alarm clock failed, the plumbing is leaking in the kitchen, the plumbing is leaking in the bathroom, and my head is barely above the waterline.

Despite these difficulties, I managed to squeak out victory in the second (2nd) Mojito Cup Skeet Challenge Monday night. The competition was better than usual with the addition of two (2) Alldredge Academy sharp shooters (thanks for bringing the M1 carbine, good fun!), but I was undaunted from my task and blasted my way to victory! Thanks to Rob (of Hellbender fame) for procuring the pigeon launcher, a great addition to Gun Club. Also thanks to Jeremy and Ben (of Highland Prospects fame) for bringing the prize for winning the Mojito Cup (not just another Mojito, although that would be enough, what with Mojito's smooth lime flavor and effervescent finish...Mojito by Bacardi, a winner's choice!) no, the boys brought a real by God 'merican honoring t-shirt overflowing with "hell yeah!" named Stars and Stripes. Take that Osama!

Did your car not start? The computer crash? The refrigerator on the the blink? I have given you the explanation, just try and relax, have some coffee, tell me about it, and together we'll wait this alignment problem out and put in place the proper repairs. What else can we do?

"Good Times. Any time you meet a payment.

Good Times. Any time you need a friend.

Good Times. Any time you're out from under.

Not getting hastled, not getting hustled.

Keepin' your head above water,

Making a wave when you can.

Temporary lay offs.

Good Times.

Easy credit rip offs.

Good Times.

Scratchin' and surviving.

Good Times. Hangin in a chow line

Good Times. Ain't we lucky we got 'em Good Times."

No truer words were ever song.

Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting!

Chip? What are you doing tonight?

We were graced this morning, not once but twice, with the presence of the Tucker County Gladiator accompanied by his son and Gladiator in training, Evan. They were carrying their double-ended foam bats, dressed in Spandex, and looking for Colorado students to pummel. The Gladiator has very little tolerance for the awful start to the WVU season so far. If you are visiting our area from the state of Colorado, please take shelter, and by all means cover up any evidence of your collegiate allegiances be they not West Virginia University.

Everyday we inch closer the exposure of our big secret! No, it's not that Summer and I are brother and sister despite our similar appearances. Although we feel we are in the right place and community if we were. Unfortunately, the news we have will be harder for some to absorb than an incestuous family living in your midst. Stay tuned!

Facts. A contrast to my ever-popular column, Rumors. Next week brings our annual festival, Leaf Peepers, to Davis, and HypnoCoffee will be representin' on the festival grounds. Gary is planning on churning out Caramel Apple Cake, Oat Bars, and other delectable edibles to be sold along side our coffee. Look for our banner and the effervescent Director. Also in the vendor's area will be our new librarian, Ivonne; she'll be handing out library cards and selling gently read books. Whisk by her booth and offer a HypnoHello! Speaking of Ivonne, you'll want to read the local birdcage liner, the Parson's Advocate, this coming week; as there should be a full page spread all about our newest neighbor. Way to go Ivonne!

Stars, Every One Of Us

HypnoCoffee's own Angela has been rubbing elbows with philistines other than the HypnoStaff. As you may already know, Angela recently procured her first car, however that isn't a picture of her and the car salesman; no that's her shaking hands with the Governor of West Virginia after a brief discussion about how much cooler HypnoCoffee is than all the coffee shops in Charleston combined. Our sources say the Gov' was hanging with Angela doing the typical glad-handing politicians are known for, when she mentioned the name "Hypno" sending the Governor into a tirade about subversive political discussions, "shady" patrons, an overabundance of foul language, unsafe work habits, and a blog that is written in "poor taste". We couldn't be happier with the Gubernatorial summation; thanks to Angela for eliciting such venom, you really are a snake charmer.

A patron from Morgantown paid a visit to the HypnoVessel today and was intrigued by our menu offering of "I Will Yell At You". She pressed me for an explanation, and I of course, offered the straight answer, that I would scream in her face for the annotated fee. She was very impressed that such a service was offered and surprised that our prices are so reasonable (a similar service in Morgantown would cost upwards of $10.00). Stating that a good yelling was just what she needed to end her week, vowed to return Sunday morning and prior to returning home would be purchasing the yell to get her in the proper mindset for the week ahead. If not too busy, maybe she can bring the Gov' with her?

Slows and Repose

Soon-to-be big brother...same mother

The HypnoWorld has slowed its spinning, as the kids return to school, and the community sighs in order to catch its breath prior to the influx of leaf peepers. Just because the external pace has slowed to a strut doesn't mean the internal mechanisms of HypnoCoffee are following suit. Quite to the contrary, the machinations are a whirling dervish of activity, and big surprises await you soon! No spoilers today, but keep in touch as always.

Thomas' own, Jared was banging the skins last night at the Purple Fiddle with his new band, Sol Driven Train. All reports are excellent and that a Mardi Gras atmosphere shot through the night and all the melted faces and bloodshot eyes confirm the tale. Way to go Jared. Eden (of Kate fame) made the show, and has the scar to prove it. Combine rock-n-roll with table-top height, and you have a scar in the making! Nice butterfly bandage job, and as always, chicks dig scars!

I Will Yell At You

There's something new on our menu, and many of you are going to want this little item. I know the price seems a bit steep, but have faith, I will reduce you to tears for that price. So, on that day when you really need that father-like berating, telling you how worthless you really are, pointing out your myriad of flaws, and reminding you of your failures, than put your $6.95 on the counter. Just like Daddy, I 'll set you straight, imaging myself as the man who keeps you on the right path. It's therapeutic for us both. If you feel (and really you should) that the fatherly guidance yelling isn't what you need, perhaps I can interest you in an expletive filled rant reminiscent of your last encounter with a criminally insane homeless person or Roger (of Blackwater Bikes fame). Always eager to please you, I will customize my yelling to suit your needs. Man, I treat you so well. Don't I...DON'T I, DAMMIT!!

Real Men Don't Eat Quiche

Thank goodness our community is filled with weirdos, degenerates, and granolas, otherwise we'd sell nary a crumb of Gary's quiche, but alas...Yes, it's true, your eyes have yet to lie to you, Gary has made quiche and frittata this morning; a special foreshadowing of the future. Today's quiche offerings are:

Bacon, Scallion, Cream Cheese, and Baby Swiss

Jarlsberg Cheese

Sun dried Tomato, Pesto, and Goat Cheese

and on the Frittata front...

Jarlsberg, Mushroom, and Dill

After the rug-cutting last night I know the throngs need sustenance, and as I avoid eggs almost as much as Spanish Fly (still thin, but with three ((3)) kids; my discipline waivers in one ((1)) direction more than another), this wondrous gastrointestinal treat is waiting on you. See you later.

Another Year Bolder

In celebration of the 37th birthday of the Electric Slide (oh, and Chip's birthday) Mountain State Brewery is bringing in a DJ and throwing a dance party tonight. The planet hasn't seen a party erupt like this since Krakatoa. Much like Studio 54 before it, Mountain State is famous not only for its degenerative patrons/celebrities, but also for its exclusivity. Tonight the velvet rope drops like inhibitions at the door; this party is open to all. Put on your shirt with the best and biggest lapels, your Farah bell-bottom slacks, a gold medallion, just a bit of Old Spice cologne, and prepare to slide, slide, slip-pity slide! Happy birthday Chip.

I sat in on the Oktoberfest meeting last night, and the inside scoop is: expect greatness. I am impressed with the strides this little festival has made since we moved here, and this year expands on the foundation bringing music, vendor booths, and another carnival. Way to go!

It Hauls 400 pounds!

An amazing new vehicle has taken to the streets of our little community. The Big Dummy was assembled yesterday. Thanks to Roger for investing the better part of his Tuesday and spending it with me and my Dummy. Roger's colorful lexicon was in full flourish as he lovingly wrenched each part into place, pulled 216 yards of shifter and brake cables, and utilized 402 zip-ties in order complete the assemblage. The Dummy will make its debut as our official coffee shop delivery vehicle at the Leaf Peepers Festival, as she will serve as coffee hauler to our booth. Until that morning, the Dummy will have to stay content being a commuter. Chloe was afforded the first ride on the skateboard deck only after Mackie and I shared in the honor of a trial flight, and at sundown yesterday evening Mackie was the first adult to ride on the skateboard deck; good show Mackie!

Check out the Dummy today as you visit the shop and purchase an extra cup of coffee, double white chocolate mocha (no whip, no foam), or doppio macchiato as a charitable act assisting me in paying the Dummy off! If I have a chance, I will also give you a ride.

HypnoCoffee (1) Starbucks (0)

A "Big Dummy"...and a long bike

Ben's designated driver

Is it the espresso this morning? Man, the rancor of Monday morning is upon me, and I am swept up in its pull. Perhaps apologies are in order to the denizens suffering the diatribes and rants, and it wasn't just Mackie today, oh sure he helped, and speaking of Mackie... his string of victories on the West Virginia Mountain Bike Association circuit came to an end yesterday on the final race of the season, placing second. Mackie made us more than proud with his unbreakable dominance, but we have found his Achilles Heel.

Allow a brief digression: Mackie almost always visits HypnoCoffee the morning of his races, and always gets a triple shot of espresso, just enough to fuel him to victory. The difference Sunday was Mackie's patronage of the startlingly inferior Starbucks somewhere in the Barboursville area. Yes, that's right, Starbucks. Perhaps a new slogan for the coffee shop behemoth should be, "fueling second place". Indeed under the influence of HypnoFuel our friend never failed, and well, there's always next year for the achievement of a perfect record. Lesson learned!

Singing In The Rain

So many neighbors spending this rainy Saturday with us, thank you. The HypnoVessel bustled, rocked, and noisily kept time with the ebb and flow of local patrons. Rock stars and other local celebrities made their way to the counter, only one (1) was turned away; sorry Jared, but maybe that's just how the wave crashes when you're a rock star in a different state, welcome home! Apparently this rain is at the expense of our east coast brethren, many of whom are sailing much rougher seas. Ours is a mere inconvenience.

Rumors. My increasingly popular column based on half-truths and innuendo again surfaces, like a leviathan, leaving you wondering if you can believe your own eyes. As you already know, Gary is baking his fingers to the bone for your insatiable appetites, and now there is scuttlebutt of yet more from the resident Muffin Man. Frittata, quiche, waffles, pancakes, and other delictibles for the denizen on-the-go. Oh my, when? There are more rumors to come, just know that help for your morning's sustenance is on the way. Thanks Gary! Also rumored; our own Nick C. is moving. Where, when? Just know that the headaches I suffer at the hands of Nick are to continue like a cloud over my head. The sword of Damocles is sure to fall.

Mojito, "Where A Man Can Be A Man"

Hat's off to Jeremy (of Bubba Fame) for the come from behind, hell, come from nowhere, win of the first ever Mojito Cup. The Mojito Cup is a skeet shooting competition held by the charter members of the Gentle-men's Gun Club. Jeremy went from shooting about 40% to nailing 100% of targets flown down range! Wow!

For those not in the know, Chloe has returned from her visit to Florida. We as a HypnoFamily are overjoyed to be complete again, especially Charlie, who hasn't left her side since her return. The HypnoParents has been put back in their place as providers of juice only, welcome home Chloe!

Rumors. If rumors are true, and let's be honest they are mostly true, a "Big Dummy" is coming to town today! Stay tuned for photos of the aforementioned Big Dummy soon. Also coming soon is a coffee roaster. The plan is to start roasting our own coffee beans at the end of the year. Yes, of course, you can buy coffee beans from us; we expect that to happen. Oh yes, the price will be very reasonable. Are you local? Good, once the roasting starts the pound of coffee you purchase will cost the same as any other wholesale customer; that's right, you pay wholesale just because you are our neighbor. Yes, we have spread the love, and have the scars to prove it.

Wed Day, Wed Night

What is there to do on Wednesday? Glad you asked. Two (2) events are on the schedule today; start after work; an Ultimate Frisbee pick-up game is going down at the soccer field behind Davis-Thomas Elementary Middle School at 6 (six) pm, and later into the evening, perhaps as your Frisbee game wraps up, get your Ultimate disc throwing self to Mountain State Brewery and sup on Chip's sauce and noodles and watch "Fistful of Dollars" as Wednesday nights are "Spaghetti Western Nights". Instead of lamenting the lack of activity, engage in what we have to offer. See you there.

As gas prices continue their assault on your pocketbook, wallet, cigar box, or sock I for one (1) am gearing up for the solution. As you know, I put my butt in a saddle and commute via two (2) wheels fairly often. As you can image the commute gets very difficult, neigh on impossible, on those days (and they are often) when it is necessary to commute with several gallons of milk and supplies in tow. The solution... "Big Dummy"! It's not just the most common phrase used to describe me, but it is also a cargo bike, capable of hauling 400 pounds of rider and gear; more than enough. The Big Dummy should arrive at Blackwater Bikes this Friday and the wrenching together should begin early next week! Thanks to Roger and Mackie for the copious amounts of support in the obtaining of this special bicycle, I can't wait!

News Flash! a new librarian has taken the vacancy, all welcome Ivonne Martinez to the community. She has thrown her hat into the ring and will need our support in the guidance of arguably one (1) of the most valuable resources in the community, the Library. Ivonne is holding a meet and greet day next Tuesday, September 9th. See you next Tuesday.

Roller Skating For A Good Cause?

Eden's party was a roller-rific good time. Thanks to Kate for throwing a successful shindig, and of course to Eden for sharing his cake! Eden has turned the big 03 and already parties like it's 1999, good show old man!

While I'm throwing thank yous around, thanks to Rob and Melissa (of Hellbender Fame) for taking care of our bagels, giving them a loving home, nourishment, and copious amounts of loving. It's rare baked goods receive such care.