Experiment #1062

The cat's out of the bag. Many have requested and your wishes have been granted. Today Curtis is making our first lunch experiment, Swedish Meatballs and Mashed Potatoes (experiment means not for sale today). A hearty treat for this snowy spring morning. Next Tuesday we go live with lunches being offered Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Why those days? Those days have very limited dining in Thomas and this is an experiment in alternative appetite satiation. The meals will be prepared Tuesdays and Fridays in limited quantities (exclusivity is your bragging right), and Wednesday and Saturday become left-over days, if there are any left. Prices will be in the $6.50 (vegetarian) to $7.50 (meat) range. Curtis will play chef, all meals will be served in our quart sized Chinese take out containers, and there will be a vegetarian offering of each meal. The menu is on our calendar at the bottom of the page, or come by and pick up a copy then post it at your desk, cubicle, cash register, dashboard, back of your husband's head, cover that unsightly hole you punched in the wall, what have you. We have high hopes for this trial period; it's our offering, but ultimately it's your call.

Speaking of calls, Mackie was right and I was wrong. The mountain did have one more snow in her. Experience trumps exuberance again.

Sports Page

VICTORY! Sweet, Sweet, Victory! In Curtis' absence I stepped onto the field of glory and Director Mallow and I went undefeated (6-0). Allow me to run down the afternoon for you. One team left early; Team Gonad (formerly Team Uterus, minus Renee add Scott), two teams arrived late (Team Mountain State, Jen and Jared, Team TNT Kevin and Nicole) and played in exhibition games only, but within the tournament there were five (5) teams. Team Shrink paired Ginger with the loquacious Nick, Team Balldiver consisted of Kimmie and Kristine, Team Footlocker combined the well dressed Davis and Alden, Team Hellbender was our husband and wife team of Rob and Melissa, and of course the HypnoTeam put freshly trained Chris and I together.

After some convoluted tournament play, every team except Team Gonad (they left for Morgantown and Mountain Stage) had met one another at least once, and all had played three (3) games. This left only two (2) teams undefeated, HypnoTeam and Team Shrink. The championship was determined in a best of three match. Nick had been dominate in his play against all other teams and had the trash talking mouth that victory sometimes inflicts on winners that lack the skills to back the wins. His strategy was obvious, play the net and with every point made unhinge his opponent with psychobabble. Determined not to let Nick get under our skin and to use our own psy-op strategy, Chris and I went silent. We played the entire time mute, only whispering to one another. We easily won both games, (15-5 and 15-6) and Nick left the yard in tears and expletives. HypnoTeam is not known for its mercy and compassion, only its dominance on the field of glory.

Thank you to everyone who showed up and played, we had a great time and look forward to the next tournament. Special thanks to Rob and Melissa for the supply of potables and to Alden and Davis for wearing the matching black and white referee uniforms. You boys were certainly the best dressed team to grace the field. What a great way to end an otherwise oppressive weekend.

Game Day

The chill in the air, the steely look in the eyes of our regulars, the vocal exchanges, all define the seriousness with which the community takes its badminton. Oh, its on, and mercy is nowhere to be found. The HypnoTeam has been in an intense badminton training regime since its crushing defeat at the hands of Team Uterus. I expect an improved performance out of Director Mallow; he especially needed the extra training. He has been under the tutelage of Dr. Ming Siam, the "Bangkok Badminton Basher", as he is known in Thailand. Dr. Siam has focused Chris' mind, and through visualization exercises claims Chris is now ready to take on Team Uterus. I just hope he's good enough for Team Heckbender!

Best of luck to Jason and Mackie at their race in Maryland, see you tonight at the BBQ. We are t-minus twenty-five (25) minutes and counting to power failure; time to get this ship mothballed and ready for Monday.

People on the Move

That figure darkening your doorway is our own Director Mallow, recently demoted to opening the shop for me and delivering bagels via pedal power. The respite from early AM duties was a needed change of pace for me, thanks Director. It's been months since I've been afforded the opportunity of seeing Charlie wake up, or looking at the clock and rolling back over. Chris is into the idea of reaching out with his bike and delivering bagels, the Fiddle took advantage today, and he is willing to go anywhere else in Thomas, Davis, Canaan Valley, Dry Fork, and Harman! You may have to wait four (4) or five (5) hours if you are in the Canaan Valley, Dry Fork, or Harman areas. Perhaps this is an opening for Mackie? The wait would be drastically reduced, unless of course he was detained at one of our many police checkpoints. The amazing number of law enforcement cats has residents asking, "really?" One would think we had the highest crime rate in the state instead of the lowest, or perhaps this is ground zero for the insurgency. Whatever the case, we look forward to resuming our peaceful community again.

CopStock update...last night saw Davis in full lock down, and being in lock down, my family sought shelter, food, and intoxicants at Heckbenders Burritos. Rob and Melissa came through like a speakeasy! Poor Melissa had to be paired with me in doubles pinball, I'll make it up to you tomorrow at the Badminton Round Robin. Just appearing in my email box were these photos of Rob mocking the situation with the fuzz. What was he thinking? I hope this doesn't mean I have to bail him out of jail...again.

As I foreshadowed, tomorrow brings a planned power outage for the entire mountain top area, and turning lemons into lemonade we will host Round Two (2) of the on-going Badminton Tourney! We are encouraging all businesses to form a team or two and play for the glory. We would be willing to track the successes and failures on a round robin score card prominently displayed in the shop.

This has been a tough weekend for the mountain; police lock down and now a forced closure of every business on the mountain top for a transformer upgrade. Not to worry, if you made bail I will be here Monday ready to share photos of the latest badminton match and sip espresso. Hold steady.

New Service?

In our ever diligent pursuit of filling your needs, we introduce Road Side Service! Abus kicked off the new deal, offering...coffee? to our ZZ Top-like customer. Inspired by the car even Summer got into the "She Got Legs" spirit and got that unborn child out front and center! I of course, am worried about the impression placed on our little unborn female gift, what is she to think? If this is the example set by Mom, where is she to end up? Working here no doubt. The owner of the ZZ Machine loved what Abus brought him, however, neither I nor Chris made any drinks?? Well, the shout is out, "hey big spender!"

Not to deter our loyal mountain top dwellers, but the boyz-n-blue are all over the place cracking down on our free-spirited drunken drag races, demolition derbies, and off-road mud bogging. Don't let that keep you from taking advantage of our new service, and yes we will wait on you if you ride your bike here. We have to; come Monday half of the population will have been liberated of their licenses. Say hi to Curtis for us.

Speaking of Curtis, he broke out and brought some baked goods by, what a guy!

Pecan Bars $1.25

SnickerDoodles 3 for $1.00

Chocolate Chip Cookies 3for $1.00

Walnut and Apricot Pastries $2.00

Between waiting on "Sharp Dressed Men" Abus also whipped up some Salmon Cream Cheese; all that and she can cook! Also on the food front is Curtis returning to us Sunday to create some soups, stay tuned. We are so fortunate to eat this way. Thanks guys.

Enjoy the pictures and I'll run down the Police Blotter in the morning, should be fun!

Page Six (6)

Maybe you have noticed? Fiddleheads Bagels are back! That's right, your favorite Asiago and Sun dried Tomato Bagels are stocked again. Like a phoenix from the ashes they have arisen and we placed another order this morning. Also arriving today or tomorrow is the house stud coffee, Bolivia, let loose your inner-jitters. For the two (2) decaf drinkers, the very smooth and sweet Mexican Chiapas Decaf is also on the delivery truck. If you have to go decaf the Mexican Chiapas is the favorite.

Congratulations to Jocelyn and Ryan on the birth of their son, Arden. Thirty (30)! hours of labor? You are a stud Jocelyn! The community is swelling with the resent additions and additions yet to come. Thanks for the photos Ryan, nice touch with the "stinkeye" comments.

Abus should be here tomorrow for kitchen duties and we look forward to her company.

The sunny spring days are putting the rays on us again, and I'm feeling a badminton game coming on. Any two (2) able body people (sorry Jeremy) are welcome to form a team and obviously sobriety and skills are optional, as evidenced by the HypnoTeam last week. If you are inclined to lawn sport competition than drop in the shop and I'll give you the details.

Kids Grow Best Where They Are Planted?

Happy Earth Day to all loyal readers. Twas a dreary day on the mountain top, a misty morning, that saw only marginal improvement as the day progressed. We did, however, receive some great news. Not only do thousands of denizens celebrate Earth Day today by planting flowers, plants, and trees; but our own Gary brought news of seeds he had planted earlier in the year. It seems the Gary and Renee are expecting! Is this why you guys decided to marry? Well, we at HypnoCoffee welcome the addition and impending nuptials, and say the child of these two loving people will be another great asset to our little community. Hopefully this won't affect the production of Muffins!

Also planting itself in our community is the new pottery studio next door in MountainMade. Summer can't wait to check it out. Thanks for the drop by Mark, we are looking forward to coffee cups coming out of the kiln.

I know many are anxious in regards to Jeremy's injury. He is recovering quite nicely, only superficial damage done, and no plumbing was effected by the puncture wound. Future Bubbas were not lost in the accident, but Ben's nail gone has gone missing.

Exodus

Tip of the hat to Mackie, Jason, and Mike. Mackie won his race! Jason pulled out a very strong (seventh) place finish it what sounded like a critical mass start. Way to go gentlemen, proof positive that we mountain top dwellers are a breed apart! Personal note: Mackie and I had discussions regarding my new commuter cargo bike (we are one step closer), keep your eyes peeled for the weird bike making it's way to Hypno.

This upcoming week sees two key Hypno regulars out of town. Curtis will be gone all week and Gary leaves for Philadelphia Freedom Wednesday. I hear your stomachs protesting, calm down, we've got you covered. Never short on guest chefs we intend to fill your bellies on the labours of Abus and Summer. First up is Summer punching the clock and cooking Felipe's Red Beans and Rice, both vegetarian and sausage filled. Mid-week brings Abus back to the mountain and besides tattooing our daughter, she wants kitchen time...Granted! What's that? Your sweet tooth is aching too? Gary is baking everyday until he leaves and we will be stocked with those amazing muffins while he is absent, thanks Gary.

A good weekend is in the books, Stevie came in for a run and we had a good time running Jeremy's route between Thomas and Davis. Also we had a nice showing of locals on Sunday, early risers (those over forty) and our early afternoon risers (those under thirty). That is what passes for bio-diversity around these parts. Whatever your hours or previous night's predilections, we are always happy to hang out with you!

Season Opener

The season opener was a girls versus boys affair. The HypnoTeam consisted of Curtis (fresh from County, thank you) and Chris, and Team Uterus paired Abus with Renee. I would love to wax poetic about the epic battle, the struggle of man versus woman, amazing shots made, how despite injuries so-and-so sallied forth to make the key play, however, Team Uterus dominated the court. Renee and Abus played The HypnoTeam like a fiddle. Final score: fifteen (15) to seven (7). The HypnoTeam is heading to training camp, skill drills, and focus exercising is in their near future. Chris was the only player to complete half the game whilst holding a beer, a mere consolation prize, but a point of pride nonetheless. Absent from competition was Team Highland Prospects. My first thought is that they were sitting out the opener to opt for more training, however, the truth is much more nefarious. It seems Ben after remodeling the shop and drinking all day decided it would be wise to target practice using his new nail gun. Unfortunately Jeremy cracked wise about his aim one too many times and Ben took aim at Jeremy's leg. Ben's aim being affected by the alcohol missed Jeremy's leg and the nail found purchase in Jeremy's groin. A trip to the ER and charges being dropped, took Team Highland Prospects out of contention for awhile. Good luck Jeremy!

Immediately following the badminton game we broke bread and licked wounds. Great food from everybody and Renee must have eaten a whole chicken, two (2) hamburgers, and three (3) hot dogs; victory must have left her famished!

The trampoline also afforded a good bit of laughter. Abus attempting to spark her latent inner-cheerleader and I channeled my inner-David Lee Roth; Might As Well Jump! The photos today should put the smile on your mug, and now get outside!

Spring Fever

Ever since he received his laptop, Curtis spends a lot of his days with me. As some of you already know, I have a penchant for teasing, making fun of, and down-right belittling those unlucky enough to be around me. Curtis can only take so much (we all have limits); out comes the knife and me with the camera! I'm sure before the computer arrived and Curtis was here only to work; not in order to access the Internet, he thought my barbs were funny. Alas, those days have given way to knife play. Poor Curtis, County had to pick him up on parole violations. His lawyer assures me Curtis will be back in time for cooking class on May 10th. Say hi to Spike and Snake for Chris.

These amazing spring days have me antsy for the outdoors, and if I'm ensnared at the shop, at least send me reports from the outside. Which trails are you running, riding, rivers you're boating, you get the idea. I'll pass the tales onto Curtis as his situation makes my limited exposure to the sun pale in comparison. At least I steal away during the days and have my afternoons. Speaking of, tune in for the summary of our first badminton round robin! Tonight we do battle for bragging rights in our season opener. Who will show? Who's been training? Who's willing to sacrifice their body for the tough shots? Who will play the whole game while holding a beer? I'll tell you tomorrow.

Flag Day

The slower pace of spring has found me in a reflective mood. Folks are lingering longer in the shop. Stories are getting longer, and loitering is the new visit. I like the pace, and prone to my own story telling, I was recently recalling how I became familiar with Buddhist prayer flags.

As some readers know, I was a resident of San Francisco some fifteen (15) years ago. San Francisco was a tough location to make friends, people were caught up in their own affairs and scenes; the town was foreboding to a young southern boy with no real urban experience. My days were spent surrounded by thousands of people and me not connecting with any of them; save one.

My neighbor Lawrence, who I would always see on his stoop smoking cigars and petitioning passers-by for "a quarter for a trip around the world" was the exception. His comical panhandling is how I met Lawrence, and being easy to talk with, he became one of my only friends in the city. He was and still is the only human I know who seems to make a comfortable living strictly off of his artwork, a testament in itself! He inspired me to pursue life on my own terms, never to settle, and that inner happiness was paramount to all other gains. My favorite of his many stories (a great story teller) is how creating art became his means. Age unknown to me, Lawrence worked as an auto mechanic, however, an inner desire to paint was coming to the fore. Obeying this impulse, he saved enough money to not work, concentrating only on his painting. If he sold a painting prior to the money running out, then creating artwork was his purpose. He sold that painting! The simplicity of this defines Lawrence; so few obey their impulses, and fewer still have the courage to see them through.

My time in San Francisco was coming to a close when my friend Lawrence gave me the gift of a prayer flag he made. A large deal with a crazy figure painted on it and the explanation that if I hung it outside, my prayers / wishes would be caught in the fabric, and as the wind blew through the flag my wishes were sent up to the Gods to grant. That flag followed me around, always hung in live oak trees, and yeah, prior to being torn in a thunderstorm, I got some wishes granted; some maybe I shouldn't have wished for to start with, but the flag doesn't discern. Lawrence drove me to the airport to catch the flight that took me away from San Francisco, and I have yet to return.

After relating that story of the flag I decided to Google Lawrence's name, and there he was, http://www.lawrencekulig.net/ . I sent him an email and was able to reconnect. Thanks for the examples, my friend.

Get To Class!

Another day spotlighting food is upon me. The counter runneth over with treats and Curtis is not only back to make more soups, but has sussed out his cooking class and the sign up sheet is here. The first cooking class will be held Saturday May 10th, cost is $150.00 ($15.00 for locals), all ingredients will be provided, the theme is Soups and Salads, you get to (or have to) eat what you make, and the whole shebang starts at 10 AM. The class won't just be you hanging out with Curtis in our first rate kitchen; oh no, the man has a curriculum you will be following, and I think, if you pay attention, you will take away a useful new skill set. The best part of acquiring lessons from Curtis is location, location, location. Hanging with the HypnoStaff is truly a privileged way to spend a morning, just ask your neighbor.

Broccoli and Cheddar Soup $4.50 14oz.

Chicken Soup w/ Corn Dumplings $4.50 14oz.

Two old favorites make their way back into rotation. It's like listening to the radio and when your favorite song finally comes on you start dancing and singing, nearly rear-ending that car in front of you, and the world seems better; that's what these soups will do for you. So excited am I to see Jason pull up on his new motorcycle, I had to photograph the moment and said photo is displayed for your enjoyment. A hearty hello and welcome back to spring and her warmth!

Nice Neighborhood

Wow, and to think this will be gone by about 10am. If you are a mountain top neighbor, this image is yours for only peering out of your window this morning, lucky you! Such a temporary and stunning beauty is ours this spring morning, and since every hour deteriorates the view, go for a walk. I wish I could carry this appreciation all the time and for so much more, but alas I sometimes fail to see the forest through the trees.

After your walk, come by and speak with Summer and I. We want to know what your favorite board game is. This weekend we want to host a game competition, a table and chair Olympic bloodsport if you will. Risk, Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, Twister, Balderdash, Scrabble, Taboo, or Texas Hold 'em? We'll decide the poison and pick the antidote today or tomorrow, and then it's up to you. Are you in it to win it?! Will you go for the gold?! Do you know anymore slogans I can shout at you?!

Yo! HypnoRaps!

Despite petitions and protests the snow is back. Director Mallow is beside himself. At least the mountain gave us a beautiful sunny day prior to lowering the boom. Don't fret, spring can't be held down for too long, warmer weather is on the way, so keep the sandals under the bed. Sunday means kick'n it Sunday (Old) School; Sugarhill Gang, Newcleus, Young MC, Run DMC, De La Soul, et. al. If you are ready to breakdance and/or beatbox, than bring it! Director Mallow is challenging all sucker MC's! First sucker on the mic is MC HeishCo. Bustin' out the rhymes. Between breakbeats Curtis will restock the counter, and not just for you, but for the Heishman clan. Welcome to Hypno!

Gary's Monkey Muffins are selling faster than they can rise. Thanks to his girlfriend Renee, for the recipe, you've got a good woman there! Apparently she's a keeper; rumor has it there's an impending engagement this spring, congratulations Gary! We are also thankful you didn't drown at the Titanic dinner, good idea to bring your own life vest!

Curtis has been brainstorming lately and some of the better ideas are a cooking class here and step aerobics. How the two are related is an enigma known only to the man himself, but let us focus on how he will garnish the counter...

Chocolate Cream Cheese Brownies $.75

Chocolate Chip Cookies (classic)! $.75

Strawberry and Blueberry Danish $100.00

Mackie came by for double shot of espresso on his way to race in Mountwood. We expect victory in spite of your late night hours and predilections for dancing and drinking. No excuses my friend.

Jason hit the tile pop'n, very nice call on the Fat Boys single, classy leghop, and perfectly executed beat box! Like grandma before me, I've been served! Again, more new family to meet, welcome to Hypno!

Once you tire of the precipitation; join us for espresso, eats, boombox jams and of course Sunday Old School...Boiiiiiizzzzz.

May Means Menu

A preliminary menu is in the works and I have posted a calendar at the bottom of this page titled, "Lunch Menu". Peruse the month of May; Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays will be filled with eats not available anywhere else on the mountain, you're welcome. Suggestions and comments can be submitted to our Public Relations and Marketing Department, attention Director Mallow; however, use caution, as Director Mallow can be a surly character short of patience, prone to violence, and lately he has been remiss in the taking of his medication. More information will follow as May approaches.

Thanks to Jeremy for the guided tour last evening; a new route between Davis and Thomas has been revealed. Nice rail grade, splendid views of the North Fork, and a relatively smooth path await an afternoon home bound run or ride. Kudos to Roxy for keeping the deer away.

As many of you already know, snow is predicted for the weekend. Winter's aggression will not stand, so I have started a petition in the shop calling for an end to snow this year. We demand spring, sunshine, and greenery damn it!

The more interesting photos lately (Charlie's close-up and today's t-shirt shot) were taken by Charlie; he has been taking my camera from beneath the counter and the results please me!

Story #1, Hammerhead

I'll begin with the youngest HypnoStaffer and a brief background culled from our government dossier. The Bureau of Supernaturals has been tracking our family since I met and married Summer. In an attempt to elude their intruding eyes we have ditched our home in Florida, given up our careers, and assumed a simple and quiet life within this small community running a little coffee shop. What are you babbling about you might ask, who is the Bureau of Supernaturals, and what have you done? Good questions, I'll start explaining what is so spectacular about our family, by starting with Charlie, aka Hammerhead.

Charlie has the "gift" of an extremely hard head. He has broken my nose, our coffee table, chairs, and once cracked a brick wall outside of our post office in Florida. That last display at age six (6) months brought Charlie to the attention of the Bureau of Supernaturals. We received notice from the Bureau that Charlie was now on their watch list, and that he was designated operation "Hammerhead". That meant our entire family was on the watch list, making us the most watched family south of Tennessee. Fun fact; whenever Charlie does suffer an injury he heals 3% faster than other children.

Next up, Little Miss Migraine!

Pop'n Lock'n Pantry Restock'n

You will have to wait for the story of the HypnoStaff, wikipedia shut down our story claiming it was advertising. You too will find the humor in that once you read the story. Despite attempts to be kept down by the man, we sally forth. Curtis and Abus are raising the temperatures in here with both ovens running, half the burners fired up, and plenty of vittles in preparation. Thanks this week to Mackie for the trail reconnaissance. The weather has been so incredible it drives home the ridiculousness of driving from Davis to the coffee shop, and so I am in search of off-street commuting. The trail or trails linking Davis with Thomas are a muddy affair and barely navigable to a novice like me, but the trail is a great run. Undaunted by the mud and challenge I arrived to work quickly, albeit eyeballs to toes dirty. Does this mean I'm a West Virginian? Cleaned from his time in the river, Curtis restocks the pantry.

West African Peanut Stew $4.50 14oz.

Corn Chowder $4.50 14oz.

Pecan Bars $1.25

Chocolate and Cream Cheese Brownies $.75

Abus' Contribution

Lemon Bars $1.00

Both the West African Peanut Stew and Corn Chowder are familiar to you, and as you already know they are better than what you're looking at in your cupboard, and well worth the trip and expense! Pecan Bars and Brownies are becoming popular items on the counter, the cookies are being made to feel neglected due to their presence. Abus, as always, keeps us happy with the Lemon Bars, thanks Abus. I enjoy having Curtis and Abus cooking, their good natures, humor, and abilities behind the burners are more than I deserve. The shop has the best aroma in town, I'll see you soon.

The Secrets Out

In the links section to the left of this narrative is the made-up word HypnoWiki. If you click and read you'll find out more about the HypnoStaff than you ever thought you wanted to know. Why did we move here, why a coffee shop, and maybe why your head aches? The secrets out so have fun.
Curtis will be here tomorrow; thank goodness. Gary is planning his disappearance this week, I think the shooting has him searching for something to fill the void. I speak of the spiritual void of course, not the void left by the gunman's bullet. That void is being filled with scar tissue.
If the spirit moves me the story will continue and more secrets will be revealed.

P.S. Wikipedia troubles arose. Stay tuned for the story...

Stevie

Stevie may very well be the next Bob Dylan as proven by his recent participation in the American Idol styled contest at Davis and Elkins College. He finished a strong third out of three (3) and took the bronze. He impressed the judges with his swagger and foul mouthed banter. He was forced to concede victory to a Backstreet Boys themed vocal ensemble and a female singer in the mode of Alicia Keys. He's still wearing the shiner and fat lip he received from (Nick Carter look-a-like?) after a rather slanderous remark was made about "Helpless when She Smiles". Thank goodness Nick (who's helpless now, mother$%^er?) didn't hurt his hands because we enjoy our time with Stevie. Besides playing in the shop, Stevie has a full day; a run with me, self-defense lessons from Gary, and a chilled bottle of champagne all require his attention.

No matter his obligations, Stevie gets the gig going first, he donned his orange cap (stolen from a drunken hunter), slung his axe (paid through collecting cans and bottles for two summers) across his shoulder, fastened that harmonic-holding neck brace thing, and got to the jam. Stevie always attracts odd audiences; I never knew there were so many meth-addicts and homeless in our area, but Stevie opened my eyes, thanks Stevie. I really should retract that, instead I'll just apologize to the boaters in our community, I had no idea! Thanks to Curtis for setting me straight, if I had known they were your friends I never (well, maybe not) have written that.

Quick plug: Curtis wants to hold cooking classes here. Details will follow soon. Since I'm writing about upcoming events, look for us at the Cheat River Festival. Chris will man the tent, and hopefully not be too influenced by those degenerate boaters. We will be sending Coffee and Bagels to the Festival, so if you are there look for the HypnoTent in the red morning light. Yes, I will remind you prior to the Festival, and post the traveling menu.

Loosen That Belt

In preparation for Biscuits and Jam we have reloaded the counter with sweet tooth satisfying baked goods. Putting the bullets in the chamber were Abus, Curtis, and Gary; the trifecta of diabetes and tooth decay. Hurting yourself has never tasted so good.

Abus' Contribution:

Lemon Bars $1.00 per

Curtis' Contribution:

Blueberry Grapefruit Scone $1.25

Cinnamon Swirl Bread $1.00

Chocolate Cream Cheese Brownies $.75

HypnoCookies $1.00

Gary's Contribution:

Raspberry Orange Cake $2.00 per

Monkey Muffins $1.25

Cinnamon Rolls $1.00

Abus brought her Dad in for the assist and churned out Summer's favorite sweet, Lemon Bars. Curtis decided to forgo our kitchen in favor of cooking at home, but produced some of his finest. The Scones use grapefruit instead of the usual lemon, nice touch! The Chocolate Cream Cheese Brownies were such a hit he has brought back a second batch, so act quickly; the Cinnamon Swirl Bread is something new and goes great with coffee. As always HypnoCookies are in the jar! Gary keeps bringing the funk, represented by the new rock star of baked goods, Monkey Muffins. He can't cook these fast enough. He also threw in Cinnamon Rolls and another Raspberry Orange Cake for good measure. We are loaded for bear this weekend.

Welcome back to our pal Bubba ( http://www.highlandprospects.com/ ) and let the re-tweaking start now. That suburban experience of consuming Starbucks this past week has left his taste buds misaligned and the treatment began this morning with a Caramel Macchiato...let the healing begin!

Thanks to Mel for the large order of Mochas this morning; now that's a great way to start things off, she adds a shot of Orange to the Mocha, and obviously her recipe has others hooked as well. Don't forget, loyal reader, if you begin to salivate or your coffee buzz has waned we will deliver to you; but only you, and yes it's because we love you.

Tomorrow brings Stevie and the Johnson, show starts at 11am. Summer will make a "mess-load" of buttermilk biscuits, and as before, our friends at Mountain Made are supplying the jam; thanks again! We look forward to spending the morning with our mountaintop neighbors and warriors of the morning alike.

Syntax

I speak for many when I say, "what happened?" I am referring of course to the Heckbender controversy. So many folks are pistoled off and think that shiatsu like this can not stand. These purveyors of burritos and foul language must be stopped! I don't even say "hello" because the foul word contained within, and to say "hello" is to condemn that person to a life of eternal fire and damnation. Rob knew hydro-dam well what he was doing when he named his restaurant after Satan's pet amphibian. He even serves food containing "seitan" which is, as we all know, the French spelling of Satan, Rob's dark lord. Heckbender has been forking around this issue for too long, it is time for a name change, neigh a soul change. I mean what's next, shitake and roasted cockatoo with homemade titillating pussy-willow sauce served on a fine piece of West Virginia asphault? Before it comes to this; the time to act is now!

In a community with so little to talk about, it is both rare and fun to have a controversy like this one. I am truly jealous of the attention Rob and Melissa are afforded with this misunderstanding. I wish Summer had allowed me to name our place, "Robin's Red Breast Cafe." No, we haven't forgotten about you Robin.

The Rest of the Story

It seems Gary has the unfortunate task of composing the rejection letters that make their way to the artists not being included in Mountain Made Gallery. He was dispatched to Morgantown to review the work of a previously rejected artist. Gary entered the man's studio (a defunct gas station), and is bombarded with piece after piece of mediocrity. Gary was just as unimpressed with his latest efforts and told him as much; this man, distraught with Gary's latest rebuff produced a gun. As many of you already know Gary is a former federal agent and is quite experienced in both weaponry and hand to hand combat, but as this man had the jump on him, Gary decided to make a break for the door. Unfortunately Gary was discharged from service under the "don't ask, don't tell policy" and never received training in the dodging of bullets. He spent an hour and a half on the table and is recovering nicely. Other than some numbness in his right leg, Gary should experience a full recovery.

Abus returned and is promising a double order of Lemon Bars on Thursday, mark your calendar. Upon his recovery, Gary is talking about making cheese cakes. By the way, gifts, flowers, and donations can be left with us at the coffee shop. We'll make sure Gary hears of the generosity.

Aztec Coffee

The coffee is on, Cayenne Pepper now resides in the coffee sitting behind me. It has a surprisingly hot kick, and felt good to my scratchy throat. Medicinal? The Aztec isn't eye watering or break out in a sweat hot, but the cayenne's presence is known. Ask for the Aztec Coffee, but be warned. Looks like the day is turning into a real cafe day, rainy.

So long to our pal Seth; he's heading off to Michigan for six (6) weeks. Take care and see you when the landscape has gone green. I still haven't received confirmation regarding Gary. I'll keep asking around. I' m sure all is well, I hope so, since you are eating his Monkey Muffins faster than he can make them.

I'm putting an open call to all of our talented denizens. I want to continue our Biscuits and Jam despite our recent no-show. Maybe a juggler, sword swallower, or comedian would make for good jam; musicians are always wanted as well. I know many of you are talented beyond what meets the eye and I look forward to your talents. Speaking of talents, Chris spoke with Stevie and he's down with another gig. Stevie shall return April 5th so mark your calendar.