hypnocoffee; coffee roaster, coffee bar

quiet on the set

2012-02-08T19:07:00.001-05:00

Charles House, a Shepherd University graduate, has crammed his gear into our diminutive space in order to film what it is we do. The beauty of how we make your coffee is that, other than espresso (which takes an outlay of money and practice, but is possible) everything we do, you can too. We don't use multi-thousand dollar machines or even the ubiquitous airpot brewers. Nope, we use ceramic and glass cones, aeropresses, and french presses to do our dirty work.

We use these simple devices to illustrate how splendid coffee can be had from humble methods with just a little practice and a knowledge of the basics, and also to reinforce that our customers can have great coffee at home and in our shop.
The videos Charles made today take the viewer through the brewing of coffee using an aeropress, french press, pour-over cone (Hario V60) , siphon pot, and we filmed the making of a latte just to show off. The first steps in each method are the same, weigh (if you're not weighing your dose of coffee it just won't be consistent and inconsistency is the hobgoblin of good coffee) your coffee beans and use the ratio of 2 grams of beans for every ounce of beverage you want (i.e. 24 grams of coffee beans for a 12 ounce cup of coffee). The exception is the aeropress which uses a smaller amount of coffee beans, finely ground, a short steep time, and the result is a coffee concentrate; more on that in the video. Grind the coffee beans prior to brewing; pre-ground goes stale quicker, and we are shooting for splendidness. If using paper filters always rinse the filters to remove any paper taste. Use water that is just off boil for better extraction, and once again use a scale to measure volume as you brew your coffee.
Brewing by the cup ensures freshness, requires care and fastidiousness on the part of your barista, allows about three (3) minutes to chat with said barista about the coffee, the latest celebrity/politician/sports star gaff, or gossip about the neighbors, and allows you to chose which coffee you will be drinking. Not to mention, when done correctly, tastes better than any cup of coffee you may have pumped out of an airpot in any coffee shop. If you think that this is all too much, I tender this graph I stumbled across last year and think it is a good argument. Thanks to http://www.dearcoffeeiloveyou.com for the good work.

what to get

2012-02-07T14:18:00.000-05:00

During Christmas we offer a sample box of coffee. The box possesses four (4) quarter pounds of coffee, and I, Tony, chose what is included and I haven't disappointed yet. They are wildly popular and it took me a mere two (2) years for the light bulb to go off and start offering these quartets daily. Either pop in the shop or visit the online store at the top or side of this page.
If you loved our recent Burundi offering, and if not you either missed out or your taste buds are flawed, Shane, Kristi, and I have sussed out another African to help us through the winter. I secured a contract on Rwanda A+ Gatare Station Bourbon that should keep us in this coffee until May.

humans hate a hyperborean climate

2012-01-31T15:51:00.002-05:00

We weren't meant to huddle beneath layers of clothing and run from heated hovel to heated hovel. Clearly most of my neighbors don't suffer hovels, but we all feel the bite of winter. Today brought temperatures into the mid-sixties (60's) and business got brisker as the sun got brighter.
How good it feels to be warm again and to feel the sun on your skin (at least the amount of skin that 66 degrees will allow). People are friendlier; Paul McCartney, ELO, and AC/DC all sound better in this light. I have found that sales are higher in the summer, which belies the logic of more people seeking the comfort of warm coffee during the cold days. Sure, hot coffee is comfortable in January, but to the truly habituated, it's comfortable year around.
We appreciate the sun and seeing you (sans parkas). Shane prepared the first batches of Japanese Iced Coffee today and they go down smooth with a side of warm bright daylight.

stock and value

2012-01-25T19:58:00.000-05:00

Being a merchant ain't all peaches and cream. Every so often I get confusing and somewhat threatening letters from various government offices, I keep long hours, I earn very little money, and a lot of the nicer things I and my family have are from bartering. Merchants everywhere know of what I speak, and can attest that these are simply the realities of being a small businessman (except maybe those aforementioned letters). So why do this?

As I closed my shop tonight Charlie was atop the counter drawing pictures for me the same way he has done since he was two (2) years old, the drawer jived, payroll was complete, and I was enveloped in the rich fragrance of roasted coffee. I am afforded the opportunity to connect with cool people over a simple culinary experience that still fascinates me . I love my job. What is that worth and how many others can say the same?

same as it ever was

2012-01-23T17:39:00.001-05:00

The way it's been since I was a kid! We aren't doing anything new, we're not even better looking doing it (this guy is a bit more threatening than Shane), but we still explode the full flavor. Blow the dust off of your parents old Melitta, bring it down, and we'll be happy to show how to use it...if the video didn't make it clear that is.

cup for lunch

2012-01-18T20:30:00.000-05:00

Shane and I embarked on the toughest challenge yet today, we blind cupped seven (7) of our coffees and our tongues are better for it. What we learned; trust your instincts, don't over think it, and keep slurping as the coffee cools. Now, with more time to hone my craft, I plan to dedicate time every day to cupping.

For the uninitiated, cupping is the practice of sampling coffees side by side to evaluate flavor and aroma. In some cases the cupper is trying to identify defects, if any. In our case we cup to determine the ideal roast profile of our coffee. We dose sixteen (16) grams of ground coffee in eight (8) ounce tumblers, add just-off-the-boil water and allow the brew to sit for four (4) minutes. After four (4) minutes we crack the crust that formed stirring the grounds to the bottom of tumbler. A layer of sediment is scooped off and we wait for the coffee to cool. While cooling, put your nose down to the tumbler and take in the aroma, note the differences. Once cooled, you simply dip in a spoon, and slurp as loudly as possible in order to aspirate the coffee evenly and completely across your tongue. If you want, you may swallow, but it's also kosher to spit... and slurp again.
If you are interested in learning more about the coffee we drink and serve, visit the shop around 11:30 am Monday through Friday and we will be spitting into cups. I think I will call it "cup for lunch". No fees, just curious people need apply. I hope to see you soon.

roast, cup, repeat

2012-01-17T17:06:00.001-05:00

I spent the better part of today explaining the roasting process and cupping the outcomes with Liz G. of Stone Soup fame. I do not profess to be being a teacher and when the cadet is Liz I feel like I'm just preaching to the choir. Just having a palette like hers giving me feedback is invaluable, and a lot of fun. She was a more than patient student, and very comfortable on the cupping table. I am toying with the idea of having more classes like today's. I feel certain that the coffee geeks in the area would value a little time in front of the roaster and a lot of time slurping coffee at the cupping table. As I flush out the details I will post them here and on facebook. Until then, if you want to satisfy your inner-coffee nerd drop in and set up a time and date that fits your schedule.Lastly, thanks to Pang for the photos of the syphon pot brew method she took that now rotate on the head of this blog, which, by the way, are not showing up on my ipad. Who out there knows why Picasa doesn't play on ipad? Free coffee for the correct answer!

Bench Press

2012-01-10T12:52:00.000-05:00

The brew bar is beginning to crowd. In an attempt to expose you to as many brew methods as possible, the "just a cup of coffee" will be made with an aeropress for the next month or so, unless otherwise requested. Those in the know are familiar with the aeropress and the clean cups of coffee that drip from its pores. In brief, the aeropress is a syringe that holds a higher (than other methods) dose of finely ground coffee and just off-the-boil water, and where the needle should be is a perforated cap and a washed paper filter. The coffee is so fine that the time it takes to pour water over the grounds, stir, finish filling with water and drop the plunger is all that is necessary to create a smooth sweet coffee concentrate. We will top the concentrate with water, americano-style, and the results are yours to judge and compare. The Burundi, in particular, stands out with this method.

If there is a method you'd like to see on the bar let us know, we love delving into methodology.

Nailed

2012-01-05T13:48:00.002-05:00

Almost everyone in business makes missteps, but none so literal as I. Many of you like to sit and chat with us, and as you know real estate within the walls of hypnocoffee is in short supply. In an attempt to give you more comfort I am replacing our glass merchandiser with a bar. Those who pay attention are already aware; but for the rest, our counter's fascia is composed of recovered pallet wood that we receive with every delivery of green coffee beans.

Yesterday, whilst harvesting some pallet boards I made one of those aforementioned missteps and put a rusty nail in my right foot. Puncture wounds worry me, so today I rousted the Vanagon from her winter nap and made the journey to the County Health Department. Replete with vinyl seating and countless pamphlets addressing gonorrhea, chlamydia, and all manner of warts, the friendly and very fast staff administered a bolus of Tdap to ward off death and lock jaw.

Despite my proclivities to put my foot where it doesn't belong; it looks like I'll be around a bit longer.

Meet The Press

2012-01-04T19:30:00.000-05:00

I am always cautious when it comes to the press. Interviewers seem to hear things I don't even think, or things I think I don't even say. Whatever, you know the routine. When I was called by Specialty Coffee Retailer magazine and asked for a phone interview, I cautiously submitted. Now, what will make it in print? The article's focus will be devices that have made life/work easier for our baristas and myself. This isn't as easy as it may seem since we don't run our shop like most others. We brew per cup per customer and only employ hand-brew methods. Thus, my answer was "scales". Our scales measure both mass (grams) and volume (fl. oz.) and they keep our drinks consistent even when I make them. Our Fetco HWB10 is also extremely useful and kicks ass day in, day out, simply providing 205 degree water. Sounds easy, but long-time patrons remember waiting for the water to boil, and what a drag that was!

I was also asked a little about our town, to which I replied "is an anomaly in West Virginia...and Maryland...and Virginia" and I can't wait to see how that works out. We spoke a bit about the University before the topic, thankfully, reverted back to hand-brew. Hand-brew in a shop setting is rare, but I explained that we employ this method as a way to illustrate how anyone can make great tasting coffee at home...and we are too cheap to buy overpriced coffee brewers.

Lastly he asked for a high-resolution picture of the shop, which of course, isn't easy because I'm not sure what that means and photographing a space as small as ours ain't easy either. Regardless, stay tuned for the February print copy.

http://www.specialty-coffee.com/ME2/Audiences/Default.asp?AudID=464620AE3F20454894C8CB7CEF72A481

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2012-01-03T18:49:00.001-05:00

As 2011 was winding down, I took a long hard look at hypnocoffee. Production for wholesale orders had me lashed to the roaster at least five (5) days a week and when the Shepherdstown coffee bar moved into the roastery it picked up steam steadily and demanded attention. My web store, too, was suffering from my absence. It just wasn't (isn't) feasible to hire someone else...something had to give.

For good or ill I decided to jettison almost every one of my wholesale customers. One (1) of the toughest aspects was ending ties to the original hypnocoffee in Davis, but supporting two (2) shops with my five (5) kilo roaster was lugubrious to say the least. My decision was based in the creation of potential for hypnocoffee to better serve our internet and in-shop customers. I knew what to expect staying the course of the last four (4) years, and wasn't satisfied with the outcome. Roasting only for myself and my hometown allows more creative input from me, more time for my in-store customers (to include espresso classes, home-brewing classes, and public cuppings), a better presence on the Internet, and I can finally pursue some ideas and changes that have been rattling around but time didn't permit their implementation.

I'm not one to dwell on decisions too much, I make 'em and move forward. I look forward to better serving my Shepherdstown patrons and focusing on growing our customer-direct business. Like it or not, denizens around these parts will get more face-time with the hypnocoffee roaster.

Here's to a productive 2012...our fifth (5th) year as hypnocoffee...bottom's up!

Destroyed

2011-01-14T12:16:00.002-05:00

Long-time favorite of me (Tony) and never far from the play button aboard the hypnovessel and roastery, Destroyer, has a new record out. I often use the lyrics to songs in the posts and today I post the first video off of Destroyer's new record, Kaputt. Destroyer has been labeled by my wife as unlistenable (she grew up listening to the Cure if that tells ya anything), but this record has even her nodding in universal agreement that Destroyer is the man to beat in 2011. For those in know (Chip B.) this record sounds like a modern take on The Blue Nile's A Walk Across Rooftops. Cade, get on this shit in the vessel! Perhaps this will soothe the masses this MLK weekend, I know it's doing wonders for my psyche.

Destroyer - Kaputt

2011-01-14T12:15:00.000-05:00

Extract

2011-01-11T15:36:00.003-05:00

The above is apicture of Cade after having espresso extracted in Clarksburg...

Oh...

Wait...

Scratch that...

It's a picture of Cade after having four (4) wisdom teeth extracted. I imagine his reaction would have been similar had he drank espresso in Clarksburg. Apparently Cade visited the tooth fairy (no jokes regarding Gary's fang fetish) and had those four (4) aforementioned molars removed. He informs me he'll be back in the saddle on Wednesday (tomorrow) so no cheek-pinching and speak slower, as most of his wisdom was in those teeth; plus he's hopped-up on hydrocodone!

Latte #16 & Thanks Santa

2011-01-05T12:58:00.003-05:00

Well that fat, I mean jolly, old St. Nick got the hypnovessel's letter and brought the ship a new espresso machine! Just as my faith in Him was waning too. Cade is enjoying his new toy as evidenced by today's heart-topped rosetta, muy bien!

If you're around the soggy white mountain receive your cup o' cheer via the new counter candy. Cade's got to pay off that gift somehow.

Latte #15 and Farewell to 2010

2010-12-31T09:33:00.003-05:00

I hear it all the time, "how long will this go on?" Of course I am referring to the hypnocoffee dynasty that started at the end of 2006 and is constantly morphing, moving, shaking, twitching, and convulsing. We had another banner year by dividing and conquering. I took the roaster out of the Davis vessel and docked it in Shepherdstown, and instead of sinking the ship in our wake, first mate Archuleta stepped up and became a fully invested partner by agreeing to purchase the coffee ship. In our absence he and Carrie have done a bang-up job running the Original and have added some user-friendly features like booze and better-looking, better-tempered baristas.

For our part, the hypnofam, has settled into our new environs easily and quickly. We hit the ground running, moving here on the 18th of June and firing up the roaster on the 21st. There have been plenty of thirsty mouths to sate, and more keep showing up all the time. Shepherdstown has proven to be a good fit for the hypnocoffee roastery, providing us with an intelligent, well-heeled crowd that happily supports quality products and continues to challenge us with fresh ideas and high expectations.

We can't wait to unveil what's new for 2011. A couple of cats that have been scratching out of the bag are: hypnocoffee roastery will offer its first direct trade coffee offering, an organic, bird-friendly bourbon from Maurico Salazar's Santa Isabel Estate in El Salvador, the roastery also has plans to incorporate a self-serve coffee bean bin that allows our Shepherdstown locals a yet another more resourceful method (either mason jar or compostable bag) of taking our beans home, and lastly the roastery is tossing around the idea of serving a small select menu of our coffee drinks and a food pairing for local consumption.

The coffee shop is already offering the best beer selection on the mountain and biggest sand box too. They have plans for both. I hear there are plans to add cocktails and convert the sand box into a private beach for said cocktail quaffing.

2011 will no doubt bring more twitching, convulsing, shaking, and morphing, and I'll keep you abreast of every move.

Latte #14

2010-12-28T16:59:00.002-05:00

Looky-looky. The roastery is finally catching its breath after a busier than expected holiday. Now its Cade's turn. To ensure the hypnovessel keeps a good bearing during this, their busy week, I have sent our own male model, Cody, to assist. Heaven knows the coffee talent in Davis begins and ends with Cade, plus the mountain-top needs a fresh face that possess a smart mouth. Hence, Cody! He's ready to rock faces and is funnier than most...so enjoy o' tourists and local denizens of the greater Canaan area. Our goal is to keep people happy whilst on board the vessel, and Cody is a more than capable seaman (insert your "that's what she said" joke here). Fair thee well busy bees on the mountain. Keep your lattes appointed with art, and your skis on trails rather than lifts.

Latte #13

2010-12-21T09:24:00.002-05:00

Another day, another rosetta. It's been silent (in regards to latte art) out there on the blog-o-sphere. No one throwing decent art? What's that? No espresso machine! Yikes. Hopefully everyone is busy writing Santa letters asking him to deliver Cade a new espresso machine for Christmas. Come on Saint Nick, the hypnovessel in Davis needs ya! If not Santa, maybe another fat guy can deliver a new espresso unit to the vessel.
Word has it the 'ol Conti wasn't feeling so jolly Sunday, in fact she felt down right angry, and burst into flames...in front of a line of tourists no less. The flames have been squelched, and the Conti is limping along, but Cade is ready to retire the little red espro-mobile and put another unit through the paces.
Let us begin;

Dear Santa,

The hypnovessel has been very good this year. In fact, I got rid of that mean Captain Tony and marooned him in Shepherdstown, and then I ditched that incompetent Yeoman Cory on the island of misfit baristas. Besides cleaning house in the human resources department, I have also brought plenty of cheer to the community of Davis by extending hours and giving the good denizens fermented beverages that make them warm and happy. All of this and more I have done and ask only one (1) gift in return; a two (2) group Nuova Simonelli Aurelia with bottomless portafilters, and single, double, and triple baskets, or a machine of similar design and quality. Thank you in advance and Merry Christmas!

Love,
hypnovessel, davis

Latte #12 With A Bonus Monster

2010-12-17T08:55:00.004-05:00

Another morning cup from the author. I really need to start selling these again since there's nothing like it in Shepherdstown. The next best thing is Shane, a barista for the Shepherdstown Bakery. He trained here at the roastery over the summer and now throws the best commercial latte art in town. He is ramping up for a throw-down I want to host in the new year, and he will be the local boy to beat.

Charlie calls this one (1) a Krakken. I assume that has something to do with an underwater creature, or it could be the drug-dealers that used to hang-out in front of the hypnovessel in Davis. Many of you thought that was just the Chase boys, but dem boys was always up to sump'fem.

Latte #11

2010-12-15T09:36:00.004-05:00

Wowza we're busy. To the many intelligent, attractive, and generous denizens, who, having superior taste, have ordered gift boxes to be sent to their friends and mistresses. You are certainly keeping the small hypnocrew busy with roasting and packaging. To those who have yet to put hypno beneath a Christmas tree (the coffee shop in Davis is also bursting with coffee and swag) you had better hurry. I know Cade has to fill a large order for Santa later in the week (the island of misfit toys needs french-pressed coffee).

The above is for Tim. Yeah, commuting via bike has been more challenging these last two (2) weeks. Still doable, but just barely. My enthusiasm wanes some mornings as temperatures hover at twenty (20).

Today's eye-candy is a close-up of my lame rosetta. I've said it before, and it's still true, the drink tasted amazing; chocolaty, slight fruitiness, with a floral aroma. How was your drive through swill this morning? Worth photographing and writing about? Didn't think so.

Latte #10

2010-12-11T13:21:00.003-05:00

I swung by the roastery after we caught Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at the Shepherdstown Opera House, http://www.operahouselive.com/ and I threw this little number for my daily cap. Not perfect, but the elements are all there; perfect milk, ringed in crema, fills the whole cup, and the contrast is bangin'.

If you are reading this, living in Shepherdstown, and haven't tripped down to the Opera House...shame on you. The Saturday matinee is an awesome deal, one (1) price for the month, and great films. Yeah, that's a shameless plug for our pal Larry and his new venture of venue ownership; plus he sells hypnocoffee through a pour-over bar no-less (stud!).

Latte #8 and #9

2010-12-10T17:35:00.002-05:00

Holy Holiday Balls! When he puts his head around throwing latte art, Cade throws some of the boldest, cup-filling, constrasted shit I've ever seen. It's hard to believe he got his learn on at hypnocoffee 'lo those years ago. I'm so proud the pupil is out-shining his instructor. Having said that, I only take one (1) thing lying down, and that's my foot rubs (Cory...I miss ya). Time to crack my dusty knuckles and put some milk to !!! espresso. Let's roll mutha trucka!

Latte #6 and #7

2010-12-09T18:54:00.003-05:00

Sean "pedo-barista" M. (of the Soundry fame) sent this beauty to the facebook page of the roastery, and damn if it's not a contender. He has clearly been throwing a lot drinks these days and it shows. He'll be in prime condition for the up-coming throwdown (more on that later).

Summer insisted I photograph the above. She threw this one in an eight (8) ounce to-go cup. That's right boys, she's keeping her hand in the game, so play on suckas!

Latte #5 and Our Coffee!

2010-12-08T16:24:00.003-05:00

The espresso is bang-on these days, chocolate and berries anyone? The art is slowly creeping back too! More production work today, plus we heard from Mauricio, our new friend. Our coffee is being harvested and processed, and hopefully will be here by the end of January!

Our coffee, being picked and processed! Thanks Mauricio.

Scary Monsters

2010-12-07T20:06:00.002-05:00

Busy days bleeding into nights, but Charlie keeps towing the line with his monster creations. The roastery's upstairs neighbor had a leaky bathtub, that unfortunately, was right above the roasting room. Damn luck that one; coupled with the eastern panhandle's slowest handyman, and bean production is playing catch-up. Thankfully Renee started today, so with luck, we'll get our holiday gift boxes rolled out by the end of the week. Stay tuned.

Latte #3 and #4

2010-12-06T14:04:00.003-05:00

I don't always throw 'em pretty, but the above tasted great. Sort of the way really unattractive people can still work amongst us and perform their duties with aplomb. It never ceases to amaze.

Phil, on the other hand, is pouring drinks worthy of a picture. I've had baristas who couldn't throw this nice. Half inverted, hollow leaves, silky...for real? Unless he's upgraded without my knowledge, Phil threw this one on his Rancilio Silvia. When Phil finally decides this legal practice is going nowhere and is ready to join the ranks of barista, he will have a home at hypno!

Half-Drunk Heart

2010-12-02T15:52:00.003-05:00

My long-time friend (no, there aren't many of these left due to my abrasive personality and ridiculous sense of humor), Phil, emailed me today's art. It was titled "half drunk heart" which I at first assumed (remember, I've know Phil for about twenty-five ((25)) years) meant he, got up early, crawled into a bottle of wine, and then poured the heart while drunk. After a couple of hours, it occurred to me that perhaps he had merely consumed half of the drink prior to taking the picture. Then a couple more hours passed before I decided it meant he was drunk, poured the heart, drank half of it, and then decided to take a picture of the half-consumed latte art. Keep up the good drinking and pouring my friend.

Latte #2

2010-12-01T11:15:00.005-05:00

Some days I throw like a hippie at an Ultimate Tourney, except without the patchouli stink and sanctimony regarding soy. Hopefully that last sentence will motive you disc throwers into a justification of your "sport" and tofu.

Not to be out-done Charlie threw this lizard on my work-order board in the roasting room. It scared me so much I wet my pants for the second time today. Now, do you wonder why Cade runs the shop?

Latte #1

2010-11-30T18:11:00.002-05:00

Cade tendered this one today. Bam, take that D.C. Thursday Night Throwdown crowd. My mother and I tripped the beltway fantastic to forage through Ikea for a loveseat. Charlie and Gretchen need a couch to surf while pop's roasting your favorite beverage. Ikea is doing fine thanks for asking, and the traffic on 495 is steady and heavy (just like my milk pour).

It's often joked that I moved to the city, but the truth is that "the city" aka America is throbbing about an hour from me. Tomorrow...Summer's cap or perhaps another Monster!

Latte Art Or Monster?

2010-11-29T12:09:00.003-05:00

Just to keep things fresh...I will do my best to post either a monster by Charlie or latte art by myself (Tony), Cade, or one (1) of the hypnoslaves daily. The difference between a monster and latte art are subtle indeed and probably open for debate; especially the art thrown on black Friday, sheesh those sucked!
Clearly the way to kick it off is with a monster. Today's offering is Slimer from Charlie's latest obsession, Ghostbusters. I couldn't be more proud of his choice.

The next one (1) is for Tim and Mackie; here's my daily conveyance:

So Much Food, So Little Stomach

2010-11-28T15:27:00.004-05:00

somebody, get this guy a drink

the first of many turkeys for c-lo

Like a G8 summit, a pacific-rim think-tank, or more appropriately, a Catalina wine mixer, the families hypno joined together for Thanksgiving. After the celebratory feast Summer and I rolled up our sleeves and slung drinks shoulder to shoulder with Cade. It was nice being in the trenches and saving your comrades one cappuccino at a time. We even threw a few superfluous latte art disasters at the end of the night.
The addition of beer to the drink menu is a welcome reminder of how to treat one's self at a busy day throwing sexy coffee drinks. I trust your Thanksgiving was as tasty as hypnos.

Peep On, Peepers!

2010-09-25T21:52:00.000-04:00

While many people have nothing but leaves on their minds, we at Hypno have filled our glasses to the top with Lambic, I mean, with thanks. 10,000 Thanks to all the fine fellows who made it possible for the Hypno Vessel to legally rake in enough booty (not very pirate like, I know) to convince Capt. Cade to take a day off. Many a wondering Run For It maniac made there way into the shop, got the buzz on, and left grinning. Although our former Captain is no longer with us to sail the high seas of Davis commerce, his grog keeps all of us chattering rapidly about his eventual resurrection/revelation and quick return to the tough yet loving embrace of the mountains that we all, well most of us, love.

And thanks for allowing me to have a job to feed myself and my lil' famdamily.

Be(er) Here Now

2010-09-23T10:01:00.000-04:00

Ram Dass will be glad to know that we are usually/mostly present at Hypno, and he may even be glad to know that we have expanded beyond the uppers and went for some fizzy fine brews. You got it right, as some previous posts foreshadowed, we are open for beerzness.

Capt. Cade does roll call with his newest troops. Hopefully they'll add more color to the Vessel. They'll at least add more ways to get your buzzzzzz on here at Hypno.

So here's the list of brews we are carrying:

Domestic

Old Milwaukee Pints $2
Iron City Premium Lager $2

Specialty

Boddingtons Pub Ale $3.5
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale $3.5
Pinkus Organic Hefeweizen $6.5
Sam Smith Organic Cider $6.5
Lindemans Framboise Lambic $8
Orval Trappist Ale $8

And, after the kegerator arrives, we will have the only thing that Davis and Thomas can collaborate on: The HypnoStout on draft!!! Oh yeah, baby!!! Some side notes....the organic apple cider: Yes, it's alcoholic. The Orval Trappist packs a bit more punch with 6.9% alkie content. Sierra Nevada comes in second with 5.6%.

THAT'S NOT ALL!!! We will be offering home-made free-range chicken white bean chili with garlic and cheddar biscuits for those of you who can't stomach the liquid diet...pobre cito!
And for all you Ride at 5'ers, you can get 10% OFF of your purchase if and only if you come by in your spandex. And allow us to put your picture on the blog....and point and sneer....and please hose off first, please?!
oh, and if you please, you can throw in any Torani flavors to your drink of choice. We are open to experimentation and feedback. Already people are wanting to mix the Lambic with the HypnoStout. The sky ain't even a limit any mo'.

Check back in for more updates! We appreciate your time and patronage. Please tell us what you think, 'cause we don't know what you think about and would like to, I think?

High coup

2010-09-08T12:35:00.000-04:00

Geese flock flies by clouds.

Sunrise colors mimicked by

OPEN sign; I brew.

One small, to go

2010-08-27T17:11:00.000-04:00

If I teach my daughter anything, it's that there is no shame in diving to the depths of any dirty dumpster. Especially when it's as good as the "trash" that our former Captain so Americanly tossed out. Thanks to him, the landfill is that much higher than the nearest mountaintop. Alas, after our slimy Estoria came a-rippin' out she was confined to the dump, er, hospital with Papa for a few hours before she could get to the nearest dumpster, er, Mother. Daddy's milk also contains caffeine, so, unlike so many other concerned 'rents, we got her started on the black gold waaaay sooner than recommended (unless you talked to Tony.)

Pre-Hypno...

After just one (1) macchiato...

...and after one (1) sip of St*rbucks.

So there ya go...and Estoria has been really thinking it would be a good idea for Hypno to branch out into the cold and hollow former High Pro residence. Mainly just because they left that mural behind...and just so people will stop asking us what the funk happened to Highland Prospects, the owners were at a trade show and were mugged by some ultra-trendy/unneeded-but-I-am-totally-so-much-hipper-than-you/costs-more-than-you-can-believe fabric designers. That means they are gone and never coming back. A Dios.

Night Ops

2010-08-23T08:32:00.005-04:00

The Gumbo that is Davis, now short a couple of lil' sausages.

In Reverse.

Where's Everyone Gone?

Double meaning in the title today...of course. First order of business: a belated congratulations to that scallywag Cory and his sea-wench Sheena on the birth of their daughter, who Cory respectfully named after a line of espresso machines, Estoria (he didn't know the correct spelling is Astoria, but it's the thought that counts). Next time you see young Cory, go easy, he's exhausted and sore from around the clock breast feeding, and he's a bit frustrated as to why his milk hasn't come in...I have my theories, but keep 'em to me-self. I have yet to see a picture of the lass, but I've been told she looks just like Sheena which I assume means the youngster was born covered in red hair and immediately crawled to the nearest dumpster.

Next op: Under the cover of darkness Jeremy and Ben pulled up stakes, closed shop, removed their shingle, and otherwise evacuated the space once occupied by Highland Prospects. Reports that have filtered eastbound and down have the boys basically going out of business after five (5) years of serving the area, one (1) business man of the year award, one (1) incident with a gun, one (1) child born, twelve (12) skeet challenges met yielding one (1) victory for Jeremy, at least six (6) TCT fundraisers where the boys donated all of the good prizes, countless laughs, and endless friendship. Adieu mother-truckers.

Runnin' With The Devil

2010-08-10T09:22:00.003-04:00

No, where we live now isn't nearly as teeming with wildlife as Davis, but I found some yesterday whilst on my afternoon run. I've fallen into the good habit of running every day after work. Since Summer rejoined the American workforce (health insurance again!) I work with Gretchen and Charlie, and I load them into the double jogging stroller and head towards the C&O towpath for our afternoon exercise. Usually both of the smaller Williams' fall asleep before I cover the eighth of a mile (8th) distance to the towpath, but yesterday was different. Charlie wanted to run with me, so I promised that once we reached the towpath I'd allow him to run. Not to be out done by her big brother, Gretchen too, decided running would be fun. So with both kids running around their old man, we trudged towards Maryland. Charlie, always the considerate one, decided he'd shove the stroller awhile, and shove he did. Not three (3) steps into his job he gives the stroller and push and lets go. The stroller bounces off towards the edge to the trail, and then down.

I watch as the stroller eases off the path and begins flipping end over end towards the Potomac River. I certainly didn't expect that, imagining the stroller would become snagged in the myriad of sapling that line the tow path. When finally it did become snagged, it was fifteen (15) feet beneath the trail on what can best be described as a cliff. The stroller contained: one (1) backpack with Charlie's books and toys, one (1) jettisoned shirt, one (1) set of keys, and one (1) cell phone now ringing. This is the part where Charlie and Gretchen learn how to string together four (4) letter expletives in a fluid and convincing manner illustrating amazement and frustration.

I suss out a path to the downed stroller, which came to rest upside down and front wheel pointed skyward, assign Charlie the job of holding his sister's hand and not moving while I descend the cliff and attempt a rescue. Every step crumbles beneath me and sends me sliding into the aforementioned saplings, but I finally reach the stroller. I grab the front tire, lift, and find out the only life form capable of making this loose dirt cliff their home, hornets. Awash in hornets, I scramble back to the trail giving Charlie and Gretchen a refresher course in expletives, and of course stroller-less.

Charlie is looking concerned at this point. No conveyance home, a dis-shoveled dad speaking in what he must consider tongues, and with the knowledge that he put us in this situation. Well, I'm no father of the year, but I'm not going to fail at retrieving their ride, no matter where it lay. Deciding to sacrifice my body to the hornets, I again slide down the cliff to the crash site. Placing a firm hand on the front tire, I lift, I twist, I pull, I fight with my free hand, and each sapling I try and use for help yields to my weight and exposes their tiny roots as if to say, "what the hell are you doing here, we can't even grow thicker than your thumb...dumb-ass". Each step up sends me sliding back a foot, but with motivation courtesy of the swarming hornets, I reach the trail with stroller in hand.

We take an inventory of the battered baby vehicle. We are missing one (1) backpack, one (1) set of keys, and one (1) shirt. Damn! I spy the shirt (atop the nest of hornets) and the backpack (in the river!), but no sign of the keys. Again I slide down; first going to the river; grab the backpack and pick a line to the shirt, lift the shirt and there beneath it are the keys (yes!), all lost items in tow I scramble hand over hand away from my tormentors, and towards my kids (I know, what's the difference now).

Not to be defeated, we hobble down the trail a bit more before turning around and heading home; Charlie and Gretchen still running around their old man.

Three-peat!

2010-08-07T16:59:00.003-04:00

First off, many thanks to Roger at BWB for taking the dangerous duty of umpire for this fiercest of all face-offs. And Gary, for stepping in for that post in the latter "game." And to whomever was crazy enough to let us play at their field. We tried to clean up!

If Admiral Tony will allow me more access to this blog, I'll post a slide-show compiled by our patron and friend Bert F, who desperately needs to tell his boss in Fairmont to fart off so that he can move to Davis (The Land of Triumph). Until then, you can view it at the Slowest Blog in Town.

Chaga rounds second base while Rob S. makes damn sure that his outfielder understands just where to throw the ball. Kurt L. already knows his team is doomed. Thanks to Bert for the nice action shot.

Davis didn't even let a "playa'" get ta terd base.

Dat's right, sucka, dem fine "miners" of Coke-ville Thomas went home wid coal dust tears in der beers. Clearly, some folks took the game a bit too seriously, having left before a second mini "game" went down. Of course, the repeating champs of Davis were, again, victorious. It only took five (5) innings to shut them out...

DAVIS - 21
THOMAS - 0

No more explanation is necessary.

Except that Capt. Cade, with his big heart and longing, again, for the fast life of Thomas, decided to kick for the losers. "Traitor" isn't the right word. More like.....tender harbinger?

Team Joe's first strategy was to fake getting the buzz on while actually drinking espresso before the match. It must have had something to do with the vast victory.

Our annual Trophy Writer Moriah looks on in amazement at how stark twenty-one (21) looks next to zero (0). While the espresso was a major help, her super-yummy muffins were actually the secret weapon. Great teams eat great food.

Team Davis (the Lumberjacks, Team Joe) pose at the victory party spot, Hellbender Burrito.

Some of our players couldn't be in the picture...but you are not forgotten!

Hellbender's tallest employee (right?) places the newly finished trophy ball upon the Toboggan of Total Triumph. And yes, that is a zero at the bottom. Get it? Zero...bottom? Sorry Stuhl.

Here'

s a dark vid of our rowdy Davis bunch.

Balls Of Glory!!!!!

2010-08-05T09:40:00.003-04:00

Admiral Williams here; usually the volume and ardour of shit-talk between the towns of Davis and Thomas is so loud it can be heard in Boulder, CO. Nary a whisper of a sporting competition has floated to greet my ears. What gives? I expect this, "lying low", from the gutter-snipe that inhabit the squaller known as Thomas, but Davis? Davis is a proud two (2)-time champion, soundly defeating the drunks, punks, and stoners that crawl onto the kickball field. Let's hear a little cyber-chatter in relation to this tradition of Davis kicking Thomas' ass!
No, the Admiral will not be in attendance. I will be working in Vienna, VA with our barista friends at the Soundry that day. I know, I know, the scum in Thomas are muttering, "yeah, sure he's too scared to play" or some such nonsense, but they also feel that work is for those who don't drink PBR daily and by the case. No, I won't miss you either, but I will miss YOU, and seeing YOU trounce those lushes yet again.
To Thomas: much like your mothers, I'm sure you'll find a way to blow it.
To Davis: Enjoy the sweet flavor of victory, for those taste buds are sated but once per year.
Adios suckers!

Cold Brew Will Rock You!

2010-07-31T12:40:00.003-04:00

Have you tried it? The killer Java Indigo cold brew? Super smooth, sweet, and very low acid. It is great. Come try some. And sip it straight first, for it barely needs any sweetener. Really.

In other news, Ga(r)y has been pumping out various puff pastries: blueberry, chocolate, mac n cheese, ham and cheese...and, needless to say, they will also rock your world. Puff!
Oh, and the Fritatas are in the doors and out quite quickly. Get it while it's hot!

That's all folks.

Coffea Arabica

2010-07-12T14:35:00.000-04:00

Just in case anybody was wondering or cares: Coffee comes from a lot of different places.

Note that the two (2) of three (3) Ethiopian varieties that we have, both Harar and Yirgacheffe (we've had this one lately), are trademarked named whose rights are owned by the country of Ethiopia. Didn't you come here to learn something new?

Oh, and it rained again for the second time in a month...bring it!

Mutineer Spotting

2010-07-10T13:59:00.001-04:00

Davis' Pilgrim Alert System (patented by King Joe) has just been raised to black, which means that a mutineer/pilgrim/milf has infiltrated/penetrated our precious borders (well, route 32) and even came and smiled sweetly and hung out for a bit at the Hypno Vessel. While this is not standard behavior for a mutineer (or is she only the victim of that strangling bond called marriage and thus guilty by association?) we did our best not to send her off the plank and were actually very, very nice to her. Shite, she even got right back in the groove and offered to help Cade out while he was taking orders. Go get 'er, Summer! Got 'er did!

"If I were you, I'd cut off his balls now."

New Coffee From Hot Places

2010-07-07T16:02:00.002-04:00

So you think it's hot in North America? Move to Davis. And you could get a frozen mocha and head for the river, sucka!

Map courtesy of Bali Blog

Word on the street (that's code for "phone") is that our derelict former Capt. (a.k.a. Grog Master 10 billion) has found some slime ball in the filth-ridden port of DC or some place that's waaaaaay hotter than anywhere in Dub V to rob a shipment of green beans just arriving in the land of liberty, and they are from our favorite little island of Java and Bali. JAVA JAVA JAVA JAVA JAVA!!!!! Don't you say that incessantly until you get your fix?

So keep yer eye (lost the other one in that last skirmish over the last hot cup of Devil's Kiss (2), eh?) out for two (2) new beans and, perhaps, some even more perverse blends of amazing brown grog. Speaking of grog, the Hypno Vessel is sailing head on towards serving Hypno Stout (MSBC) and some other tasty flavor delights that will bring you down off yer coffee buzz. Hypno Stout = Divine Combination.

That's right, as previously noted (Doble ve te effe? You didn't keep up on the blog? See the previous post, slack monkey.), we will be serving beer soon enough. Just don't come in at 7 a.m. and not expect weird looks when you order an in-house stout. You have a problem, me thinks. Until then, get a mocha, take it home, blend with beer of choice, and pretend it's what you've always wanted...you can wait, can't you? This fellow customer will...

Calm Unity

2010-07-01T12:35:00.000-04:00

The title is Cory's interpretation of community. Working with people. Tolerance. Connecting. It's not easy, but it is better than being alone.

The peeps came out after the ship had begun to be steered by a new Capitan.While the feng shui has changed a bit (less poison arrows, me thinks), the quality coffee and uber-wacko wise-cracks have remained the same(ish).

Above you see Capt. Cade filing the papers to get beer, booze, alki hall in the Hypno Haven. That's right. You can get jacked up and wrenched down all at the same time/place/illusion of reality. Our drinks definitelyhelp your mind distort your own custom made reality. Add chocolate and its even sweeter. Can you say "Hypno Stout," sucka?!

The bad(ass)minton game got super hot. Like Lutz Boys make ya sweat hot. Yeah, come rip it up before the beer garden turns Davis into a tropical "macchiato in paradise" solace. Look out, Thomas, we've got beachfront.

Ollie and Pops had some riproarious fun on the porch. Ollie is going to be a drummer, we think. If you missed the jam out potluck, you missed it and a good time. 'Twill happen again...keep up with us here or in the sh-sh-shoppio, doppio.

The Polls Are In...

2010-06-26T15:01:00.001-04:00

We know, we know...you've been waiting to see just what made people so turned on about Hypno-before-the-Hypno-Fam-left. Well, here it is, folks, grab yer latte's and study this one. And remember, statistics are not facts...but this blog is.

Not that surprising, eh? Those few hanger-outers are unidentified, and probably were people's pets or some children that don't drink coffee and cant talk and ask for a smoothie or vanilla frap with whipped cream and caramel oh so slowly drizzled on top of it so that it looks and tastes like....use your imagination or come get your own, if you can talk. We know a little sign language and Spanish, entonces....bring your own mug and we will smear you with enviro-kudos and even rinse it if you need. Month old latte scum is actually making it's way into its own food group, right next to the "use sparingly" things like sugars and oils. We don't want you to think that these things should be consumed as un-often as straight raped white table sugar...au contraire, a latte a day keeps you regular , they say.

So This Is How It Ends

2010-06-15T21:32:00.003-04:00

"I do it for my baby; I want her to have it better than I did."

"Them's my swatters"

As the HypnoFam prepared for departure we jettisoned many a worthless possession. You know the stuff; old badminton rackets, broken chairs, photos of family members that no longer speak to me (too many to count), and the other detritus that clutters our lives once we settle in one (1) place for any length of time. We had so much of the flotsam we had a dumpster dropped off at the HypnoAbode, and I spent the day filling her to the brim. After a long day of dumping (no Jeremy jokes please)the HypnoFam joined forces with the Archuleta clan (the NeoHypnoFam) to grill meats and imbibe. As I took to the deck and glanced at my day's labor, I spied two (2) degenerates elbow-deep in my trash. Who should it be, but our own yeoman, Cory and his baby's mama, Sheena. Cory made off with our spice rack and Sheena scored fly swatter after fly swatter (three ((3)) in total). After much fun and attention was given to our mate and his wench; we invited them to sup on grilled delectables with us, but they politely refused stating they were still full after their dumpster dive.

So be it.

Shifting Ship

2010-06-06T16:21:00.001-04:00

Things here at Hypno are about to get a little different. Our lewd Captain is lifting anchor and heading closer to the White House. Will he crush teabaggers and take over the entire cuntry? Or will he be humble and just roast his little heart out (french roast, surely)? Either way, the wheel is being passed to First Mate soon-to-be-Capt. Cade "Slow Fade" A. May you grip the wheel well and have a strong rudder. And may the calmer waters in Sheepherderstown (Jesus' favorite US hangout) treat the Hypno-Fam with love and respect. God knows that is how our venerable mutinying Captain has treated his crew...not the landlubbers, you scum.

With that announced on the Netosphere, it must be said that Hypno will still continue to deliver only the finest coffee that yer booty can buy, and watch for some subtle changes, perhaps some much thicker grog to serve up at later hours, and a pole to dance on the counter (not really, you creep),although our former Capt did reportedly use the hot vent for the roaster as a striptease tool; Hot!!! We'll miss that dirty dancer and his nasty tricks. We'll also hope to see him back for another stomping of Thomas for kickball, since the Hypno Abode is morphing into a B&B and the Carriage House also has openings for renters, thus allowing entry into the kickdown.

Fair the well good humans large and small. And don't forget about the goods in Davis, Dub V.

You May Need A Job

2010-05-13T10:17:00.005-04:00

The nineteen-nineties called the HypnoVessel this week and asked for their prices back. Well, two (2) years of cut-throat prices was pretty good, but now the french pressed, micro-roasted, hand-selected coffee you've been enjoying at the pump is $2.00. Not to be presumptuous about your money, we are increasing the size of the cup to sixteen (16) ounces (meaning the price increase is a reasonable .50). While you're down; allow me, sir and madam, to keep kicking...no more free refills, you will pay $1.00 for your thirst and greed.

And for your wanting face holes...I tender a delicate Ethiopia Yirgacheffe, our always brilliant Sumatra Mandheling, and for the rest of the week, only !!! Espresso! Oh so good. Speaking of espresso, maybe with this price at the pump jacking you should consider moving up to espresso drinks. I'll make it easy, just ask to test-drive a macchiato, and until May 17th, it's on me.

This Runner's World

2010-05-08T11:37:00.005-04:00

Red tank top, smooth head, super-star.

We are logging mucho road miles this week, with not one (1), but two (2) trips to Shepherdstown. Yesterday found the HypnoFam tripping the mountain highways and byways so that the HypnoCaptain could attend a day of running events centered around a Chi Running clinic and the whole magilla being observed/participated by "Born to Run" author Christopher McDougall. The end of the day saw the whole HypnoFam participating in a group run along the C&O towpath before attending a talk and book signing with Chris (yeah, I call him Chris now) at the HypnoPimping Mellow Moods. It ain't everyday that the HypnoCaptain gets to go running with a best-selling author, but then again, it ain't everyday that a best-selling author gets to run with a sexy coffee roaster. Amongst other questions I fielded; "why does Starbucks coffee suck?" Lemme tell ya...Thanks to Mark C. (of Freedom's Run fame) for the invite and the many introductions to the good folks in She-Town.

In the midst of all of our traveling, Chantal (of website fame) put some more eye-candy in your browser's face. Check out HypnoRadio; now at last, you can move to the sounds that fill our ears while we make your beautiful drinks. And for your shopping pleasure; Chantal placed photos on our Facebook page that link directly to a shopping cart. Oh my! You're either very lucky or scarily connected to the HypnoVessel all the time; while at home, while at work, and in your dreams.

Beasts Of Burden

2010-05-03T19:24:00.004-04:00

First bit of mail, or first mistake?

Sunday saw the HypnoCaptain, first mate Cade, and Mountain State Brewery's own Willie take a list of man-chores and destroy it like a VW Bug at a demolition derby. First up; get a mailbox in the ground by the road and ready to receive United States Postage! Hole dug, quickcrete in place, mailbox straightened, and viola, bill receptacle complete. Next up; add lateral supports to existing outdoor stairways and on each of the two (2) porch stairways add another hand rail. This one (1) could have taken a finger, but Willie kept a steady hand on the circular saw, and we transformed those stairways into insurance compliant ascending/descending ingresses/egresses. Pumped from two (2) successes, we feasted on hamburgers before taking to the roof for the third man-chore; tearing down the 1982 television antenna. Cade and I took to the roof, sawz-all in hand, slipping our way to the roof ridge we steadied ourselves, then like a machine-gun toting gangster, Cade lay to waste the aged television signal receiver. With three (3) down, we had only one (1) more man-chore to check off the list; restore the water supply to an outdoor shower. Darkness was starting to fall, exhaustion from the previous three (3) man-chores was starting to take its toll, and half of us was half in the bag, but we crawled beneath Cade's house anyway. It took longer than we thought and we were shy one (1) fitting, but restored the hot water to Cade's outdoor shower. The test run proved successful on all of our work, but the existing outside pipe had seen better days and possessed cracks in two (2) places. Before he sets off on a summer of al fresco bathing Cade has a little more work to do...but that's for another Sunday of man-chores.
Gettin' it did Sunday inspired me to tackle my own man-chore list. Since there's no time like the present, I excused myself from the HypnoVessel this morning and with our HypnoBaker, Gary, at my side gutted my kitchen in preparation for new, sweeter counters and shelves. To my wholesale customers; I will be back aboard tomorrow to roast your magical caffeinated beans, and to Mellow Moods, the HypnoFam will deliver yours on Wednesday since we are heading to Shepherdstown again. If anyone is interested; upon my return Thursday I will go on a man's shopping spree in Lowes and I have a coupon!

Deep Creek Bump

2010-04-28T16:09:00.003-04:00

Good coffee is again spreading like Typhoid. Cade played the role of Mary, as yesterday found he and I tripping the highway fantastic to Deep Creek Lake. Once in the affluent community on the lake, we went to the Mountain State Brewing Co. Recently, Brian purchased a defunct espresso bar from Winchester and installed the gear in his restaurant. Cade and I got busy adjusting the espresso grinder and sussing out his Astoria two (2) group machine. Once we figured out the idiosyncrasies of Brian's Astoria we set to work passing on the knowledge of drink building that local mountain top denizens have been enjoying for over two (2) years now. We set Brian on the path to espresso enlightenment, a path he seemed excited to start down, and prior to his opening for breakfast (Memorial Day weekend) we'll check on him. Thanks to Brian for having the good taste to chose HypnoCoffee in his restaurant.

Not NASCAR Fast...Yet

2010-04-24T21:47:00.006-04:00

The first bite is always the worst.

After only a couple of weeks back in the saddle (running that is) I ran my first footrace of the year. We again sponsored a running event in Shepherdstown, and again the kind folks welcomed us with open arms, but this time I finished a little stronger than my last eastern panhandle race. Of course the distance was shorter by about twenty-one (21) miles.
Part of the fun in leaving our mountain top abode is experiencing great food. Our first night in Shepherdstown found the HypnoFam supping on Thai cuisine. My basil tofu was spectacular and Summer's seafood pad Thai was so good it came with baby octopus in it. On a dare, Charlie and Chloe ate two (2) of the mini-encephalopods. The above picture is Charlie's reaction to texture, not taste. After gobbling down tentacles, Charlie proceeded to hold court, regaling the diners, hostess, and waiter with tales of monsters, pirates, and worm monsters.

We also met with our customers, Mellow Moods (Phil and Shanna) at their great spot on German Street. Phil and his wife are every bit as busy as any other HypnoCouple, with two (2) kids, a cafe, yoga instruction, and midwifery courses...Whew! Like so many other Shepherdstown denizens, they were wonderfully hospitable and kind. Thanks Mellow Moods crew. Another successful HypnoJourney!

It's Back Baby

2010-04-22T11:59:00.002-04:00

It's eerie how, not one (1) week after writing about it with tongue firmly planted into cheek, the swinging bridge is back! Some concerned citizen or citizens repaired the swinging bridge sometime over the last two (2) days, and local cyclists have crossed and lived to tell. Thanks to Subterfuge Civil Engineers Local 151 (motto: we do it in the dark) for their quick fix of our link across the Blackwater.

I'm Not Chasing Anything, Just Jogging Baby

2010-04-18T10:32:00.003-04:00

Where is everybody? Ah yes, half the population headed to Babcock to run a half marathon (congratulations Jody, Jocelyn, Ryan, Brian, and Lilla) and the other half (Jeremy,Patrick, Anne, and Adelaide) participated in an Adventure Race. To throw down thirteen (13) plus miles this early in the season (we've only had clear roads and trails for a month) shows some bad-ass filament. The Adventure Race is the culmination of Jeremy's latest obsession, his body, and poor Patrick is being pulled along for the beating. Early reports tell a tale of a beating indeed; Patrick fell head over handlebars during the bike portion and a split and shattered helmet that littered the trail was what he had to show for it. Ouch!
Next week will find the HypnoFam heading to She-Town for the Race For The Birds footrace. Mostly the trip is an excuse to glide off of the mountain for a weekend. Shepherdstown is a great destination, if anyone else needs to escape for a bit, come by the HypnoVessel and talk to us about an exodus.

Guerrilla Trail Maintenance

2010-04-16T12:49:00.004-04:00

Inspired by the conservative tea party activists, local trail conservation and maintenance teams led by Todd (of DC Geek fame) have taken to the streets...errr...trails. Under the nome de plume; Todd's Trail Teabaggers and armed with chainsaws (22 inchers no less), hand saws, hammers, nails, and without permission are cutting paths all over mountains we call home. Some trails that preexist, but suffered too much snow, are being re-opened (fallen trees cut away), but others are looking for new lines to replace the boring old routes. These Teabaggers know no bounds. The ever-popular swinging bridge across the Blackwater River fell beneath the heavy weight of this winter's snow fall, and no organization plans to restore the structure. Will the Teabaggers sack-up and erect the full span? Or will they ball-up and shrivel; choosing instead to carry their bikes over their drooping heads through the frigid waters? Maybe just restoring other damaged trails will sate their hungry appetite for construction. Todd, however, is an ambitious fellow, and it's hard to imagine him being fulfilled until the length and girth of that water-crosser is again spanning the Blackwater. Be cautious my friends, your asses could certainly be put in a sling for such ballsy behaviour.

Espresso's New Use

2010-04-15T14:21:00.003-04:00

HypnoPal Chip (of Charlie's buddy fame) brought in an expression of espresso especially for us. Shortbread cookies topped with chocolate and our coarsely ground espresso blended into the chocolate. Rich is too small a word, one (1) of these babies will hold you over for a twenty (20) mile run. Thanks Chip. Maybe, during these doldrums days of spring, we should have a contest. Who can make the best use of our coffee (barring brewing the coffee for drinking, which we all know is the absolute); baked goods, fabric dye, or paint on canvas? A couple of those examples have actually been done. Gimmie some ideas.

Sunshine State Update

2010-04-13T14:56:00.004-04:00

After an extensive cavity search brought on by Cory's insistence of carrying on a ziploc of quinoa, a mason jar of wheat-grass, and both kept in a hemp shoulder bag (I warned ya) Sheena and our favorite damn hippie touched down in Orlando. After brief introductions with Sheena's family (Sheena: "grandma, dis be my baby's daddy" Grandma: "oh, dear Lord!"); Cory and Sheena headed for Disney world. They fit in beautifully at the "It's A Small World" exhibit, and Cory was allowed to polish is pirate-speak at the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride. The day was fun-filled, but as night fell the duo headed for the hair removal clinic. Sheena was rushed to the Chewbacca Wing, where despite the latest lasers, razors, and flame-throwers Sheena emerged as hairy as ever. Better luck next time. Today sees our friends relaxing at the Sun Your Buns salon after breakfast at McDonald's. The afternoon eases into a family luncheon at the Olive Garden, and finally an evening shopping spree at the greater-Orlando mall. We miss you and look forward to your safe return, we only hope the reprogramming wears off once you make it back to the HypnoVessel.

WWW.HYPNOCOFFEE.COM

2010-04-12T11:04:00.004-04:00

Now stronger, faster, harder, tougher, better-looking, sexier, and smarter. No, not Cory, the website. Thanks a million to Chantal for the site, we love it. Happenstance has always been a mainstay of the HypnoVessel, and once again it has shored up a weak point on the ship. We are always trimming sails, painting decks, and scrubbing the poop deck.

Treats For Eyes And Mouths

2010-04-10T16:15:00.003-04:00

Maybe you've noticed those buttons beneath our "...never forget..." banner? Go ahead click 'em. Are you back? Good. Not much of a journey, but they have purpose beyond a short trip down the cyber highway. The hypnovessel made another friend this week, Chantal, who happens to be our kind o' geek. She loves coffee and writes mean code fo' the 'puter. After ease-dropping on a barista bitch session regarding our lame website she pops up and says, "I can fix this". Only if you would be willing to work for dark delicious fluids and sweet preparation gear. She says "sure" and now we're only a couple of days away from an amazing looking website. She asked me to add the aforementioned pages so she can use them in her code universe. Done and done. Thanks Chantal!

Welp, the Rwanda Bourbon has run its course and until next year... adieu. Now from the dark continent I bring you Ethiopia Harrar. A natural processed bean from coffee's origin with a sweet nutty aroma, smooth body, and a cinnamon finish. Cade and I have even started playing with this one (1) in our espresso...beware. Since both Ethiopia and Sumatra are in rotation so is their child, French Kiss. All of you dark roast drinkers, rejoice. Keep your browser pointed to hypnocoffee.com for new eye-candy.

To the dude caught dumping his household garbage in the vessel's dumpster...sorry for scaring you, and in the future, stay away from HypnoRefuse.

Let's Talk About The Weather

2010-04-05T18:44:00.004-04:00

Spring has sprung with a vengeance. You're welcome. Despite rumors to the contrary stating my trip down south was facilitated by a witness relocation program reassignment or that Scott ratted me out to the fuzz (via wireless listening devices) , or finally being fed up with winter and Davis we high-tailed it to warmer climes and weren't coming back. No, our mission was simple, bring back the warmth and do away with all evidence of winter. Mission accomplished and I couldn't be more pleased with the results. It actually feels like summer (season not wife) except it's still brown and dead outside (forest not wife). Thanks to all well-wishers and yep it's good to see you too.

Next up: Cory and Sheena head to the sunshine state. His pallor is lacking, and Sheena needs to interview a couple of plastic surgeons regarding breast enhancements and laser hair removal. Ahh, I love you America, but how you've reached up to the top of our mountain and sullied a young sailor and his paramour is curious at best. Who am I to criticize and question, the real reason for our off-mountain voyage may eventually surface, and it always has something to do with me and my family's serving of our land of liberty!

Well, At Least Somebody Has Risen

2010-04-04T12:45:00.000-04:00

Since Hypno follows in the freedom-seeking vein of the few great Americans, we must honor all delusional patrons. Happy fertility, er, Happy Easter to you. As you can see, Rookie Barista can't rise to the occasion.

But really people, was Easter originally the holiday it's all cracked up to be? Eostre thinks not..but, like many things, the truth is debatable (is it, then, still the truth?).

Anyhow, if yer close by....ramps are in and Mr. No R is baking them into everything he can...like the salmon ramp cheese-bake-a-mania...GET SOME, for a limited time only!

Aye Aye, Captain Ho!

2010-03-27T10:40:00.003-04:00

Aaargh me lubby dubby land lubbers, it seems that our newest little galley slave, Logan L. has actually done something up in the crow's nest while swiggin' grog and usin' the scope for mostly babe-searchin'...he has spotted a small white boat headin' this here way! Accordin' to his leery sight it seems that our desertin' Captain is returnin' from the low seas of southern Amerimacchiato. The only thing risin' down there is the temperature, me lucky lubbers!

So keep yer knives at the ready (in yer mouth), for there may be some strange ideas comin' aboard the ship....like actually makin' these grubby thieves pay the right price for a cup of amazing gold booty-tooty. Got a problem with these comin' changes in our time of "economic downturn" (this has no relevance to we pirates, who are not integrated into an unclear system that is designed to profit only the super-rich and leave most floundering for the broken pieces floatin' in the red ocean...)??? Then you ought to get out into the upside down society and scrape up more bullion for yer habit, er, addiction...

And here is our latest report:

No Need For Mutiny

2010-03-17T11:28:00.000-04:00

Have you heard? The Hypno Vessel is going to be steered by Capt. Cade and Top Deck Jester Cory for the next two weeks. You all know what that means: we'll do like that other "coffee shop" in Thomas does and not open until the afternoon, smell like booze and an ashtray from open to close (which will undoubtedly send more traffic to Highland Prospects), and, if the ship don't sink after a few days of that, stay open 'til the weewee hours dancing to Americana music provided by Stevie Johnson, who will be promoted to Poop Deck Bard.

And one more thing: anybody coming aboard with "attitude" will be hit over the head with a broken shovel, chopped to bits by neighboring worker Laurie H.'s vile dog, and roasted to a nice light city roast. I can see it now: Sales=skyrocketing, acceptance of cannabilsm (wait, is that what you call it when you DRINK people?), willingness to prevent the Head Pirate from returning so that we may keep roasting people (he'd be nice as a full city +...), and a swath of other things that will remain unmentioned until you actually come by and support the most hyperactive biz in town.

This was dug up out of a dusty chest in the mess hall. Nov. 2008, how boring. Note the previous post...snow over the deck railing. The ship will soon thaw out and be steered to ________.

It is rumored that the Head Pirate and Fam abandoned ship due to the gargantuan amount of snow that would, eventually, make Noah's Ark a neccessity in this area. He always did avoid contributing to the fulfillment of Biblical prophecy...so they go to NOLA, the Arkless land.

The Head Pirate's favorite booty maker will remain unmanned for a couple of weeks. Get yer booty elsehwere, or just wait for another mothalode storm to wreck some shrimp ships into our port.

Now that you know, we hope you come and show your full support of "Head Pirate-lessness."

Don't be afraid.

Man Cave, Now Open

2010-02-28T14:52:00.003-05:00

Cory got busy putting shovel to deck and created a winter-only reading room. Charlie, Gretchen, and I tried it first reading Cat-n-da-hood whilst sipping forties (40's). Oh wait, that was Friday's white-out, and a whole other story. Besides being a reading room, other uses include, but not limited to; man-cave with bourbon and stag movies, Japanese-style tube hotel, under-ice recording studio, and time-out room for insolent children. What will you use the cave for? Stay tuned for a Vancouver run-down.

Sorry .. been in Vancouver

2010-02-23T17:50:00.004-05:00

I have been away from the blog for a bit. I apologize. I have been in Vancouver with the US curling team. I take my curling as serious as I take my latte art though, so root me on and stop in and see my friend cory rockin' the barista duties.

Triumvirate Of Tyranny Returning

2010-02-10T18:20:00.003-05:00

Clad in his velvet shackles and escorted by figure skating luminaries, Robert "glides with wolves" Gerkin, John "the crystalline flyer" McSimmons, and the fabulous bladed power-house himself, Ian Lucretzo; Cory made a layover in Sin City for a throw of the dice. Finding himself again in over his head, Cory bet the family farm and a barista's honor on the craps table in an attempt to break even. I'm sure Cory thought he was an expert at craps, given his propensity for head calls, but this game was definitely different. Fortune smiled on young Mr. Chase and he found himself throwing sevens (7's) and elevens (11's) for the better part of an hour. Not quite enough for gas money (or Mr. Lucretzo's bar tab), but enough to keep the pit boss from breaking his legs. Congratulations Cory, and keep shuffling east; just aim for the white, we've got plenty of that!

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

2010-02-05T20:57:00.005-05:00

Do you really want to make me cry?

Whoa, that great sigh of relief was your captain, finally able to again eat solid foods. It was a close one (1) oh faithful crew, but my amazingly resilient filament pulled me through. Monday night saw an epic attack on this old salt in the form of food poisoning. A mighty evacuating of all bodily fluids ensued, leaving a dehydrated, exhausted, and seasick sailor in its wake.
I floated adrift for about twelve (12) hours before luck threw me a life preserver in the form of Emetrol (a left-over from Summer's morning sickness days). The ailment yielded just in time to return my battered body to my post; and not a moment too soon, as the storm of the month is rolling in and threatening to create fantastic wintry conditions for next week's three (3) day weekend. All would be right in the world if it were not for the latest news from out west.

It seems the whole, "traveling with my brothers" tale Cory has spun was a clever ruse, designed to hide his true absence. It seems young Cory is actually an Olympic Figure Skating alternate and has been in Vancouver awaiting word on whether or not he will be called to the ice to represent America, and HypnoCoffee (of course) in the winter games. I only found out when Morgan called requesting information on the lateral strength of a man's knee. After consulting my well-worn Guantanamo Torture Manual, I called him back and inquired as to why such information was needed. A little drunk (10 a.m. Pacific), Morgan spilled the beans, and informed me Johnny Weir had edged Cory out of a slot, but that maybe a "slip" might call Cory up. I immediately alerted the US Figure Skating team, who apprehended Cory; and at last notice had sent him home under a figure skating-centric security escort. No more sequined uni-tards for you young Mr. Chase, a barista's apron from now on! I only hope the security escort aren't too hard on him...

Fresh Ground Ideas

2010-02-05T19:52:00.000-05:00

Coffee shops in banks, coffee shops in bars, coffee shops in fast food restaurants, in buses, in shacks. A lot of it isn't that great. I am thankful that Hypnocoffee is still floating. May it be the boat that makes all tides rise, right? If you inform me via blog that the ol' vessel has sunk, burned, been looted, or just crashed drunkenly into some boulders, I may not find out until I arrive at the port of Davis.

It seems quiet here, so the pastel pictures are going OK????

Adendum

2010-01-31T21:13:00.004-05:00

No, this doesn't spell "suave".

The HypnoVessel was today boarded by two (2) deaf denizens; and as the informed HypnoBlog reader already knows, when Charlie was an infant I spent many an hour (2 or 3) taking an online sign language course, so I was excited to show my stuff to these visiting sailors. In my excitement I signed, "Welcome, I am little loser asshole", which I thought was " Welcome, I know a little ASL". After a couple of confused looks, they ordered (by writing their order no less!), all I managed to ask was: "milk?" and finally "thank you". Of course, a big "thank you" to Signing With Your Baby, for the amazingly practical course I paid so much for! God forbid any Spanish speaking denizens make their way to the Vessel (a fight will surely ensue)...who am I kidding? I'm still safely ignorant in Davis, WV.

I'm Worried

2010-01-31T20:03:00.005-05:00

Damn yeoman. I've been role playing for years in the village of Davis. I am a chaotic evil barista paladin, with a ten (10) charisma, an infinite number of hit points, and I've never missed a save throw. Don't even mention such ridiculous sundry issues as biodegradable drinking products, especially when all HypnoPatrons drink from cups made of recycled bibles. You didn't know that? You thought the coffee was just amazing? Oops, well now ya know the word of God sweetens all. You probably knew that already?

Let us be thankful for Cory's finding of HypnoCoffee in the USA wasteland we call the the west. Only out left would such decadence as Dungeons and Dragons meet with the purity of espresso; Satan (Gary Gygax), I rebuke thee!! Like an oasis; Cory happened upon Ben H.'s stash of HypnoHeaven, and apparently, not a moment too soon. President's Day can't come soon enough, I'm fretting for your ever-after young Chase. So much afoot back home, aim that Subaru east!

Dungeons and Decaf

2010-01-31T19:32:00.001-05:00

Alright all you Hypno dweebs (and D&D fans). While Tony dreams of having a shop that draws all manner of weirdos (well, leaving out Chip B. and his trusty partner Linus...and everyone from Thomas...yes, esp. Rob S.), Fort Collins, CO, has taken that quest to another level/dimension/state. But first...

...Upon leaving Boulder for the wildest place that is still wild in the west (Wyoming...they gave themselves that label), we first stopped at Folsom Street Coffee Co. for a capp. It was a true trad capp, the barista's were sweet, and the people in the place made me want to go to grad school so I could just f-ing fit in with the vibe. And get a Mac. Mo's mango smoothie was killa!!! They claim to be Boulder's only eco-coffee house. WV is far from that, I know. But hey, the lids, cups and sleeves were all made to biodegrade. Using "food" for plant plastics is hotly debated yet I think it is way nicer to use corn than decayed dinosaur petrol.

But this is not what excited me so...After the eco buzz geared us up for the north path, we hit up a fantasy RPG coffee shop. For real, role-playing games meet espresso. Roll dice FASTER!!! While I considered just staying there forever, the fact that the owner's name was Gary made me choose to continue on. Anyhow, this has got me thinking of something more off the wall for Hypno to morph into...cupcakes are not weird enough, while the baker may be. I'll let you know when the eureka moment occurs.

Gary, a multifaceted Cali barista, made a delightful double shot mocha that made me think of doppelgangers and underwater prisons. Not really. But what a combo, eh?

Don't spill yer drink on the sweet merch...or you meet the Gimp downstairs.

We soon showed up at Ben H's., our fellow Davis pal who now resides in Jackson, WY, and were pleased to see that his home was replete with Hypno gear. As you can see, some of the french press has been used, making picture taking a bit jittery. FTO 24 Hour Blend was nice to come across this far from Dub V. While it was not used to win any hard-core races (first one to the john?), it surely helped me remember my roots...wait, what am I? I am coffee's super-highway, it's exercise gym, it's power plant...

In Jackson, my favorite toastless bagel shop, Pearl Street Bagels, shelled out supadupa dank brekkie and some espresso to boot! Upon two visits, the coffee has been well extracted and the milk frothed to perfection. Two thumbs up Tony's, err, way up. Well done, PS.

One more thing for Tony, Cade, and Summer. I'm not coming back. Not yet, at least. Sorry if this makes you happy. I will be back for Pres. Day weekend, though, so get yer cups stocked and put a green coffee order in early to be stocked up good.

Where are those metrostache pics you promised, Tony Bologna?

Safety Advisory

2010-01-30T13:53:00.003-05:00

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has cited The HypnoVessel with three (3) warnings regarding our patrons. Apparently we are the number two (2) cause of accidents today, number one (1) being lower torso venom extraction while driving. One (1) patron, who will remain unnamed, craving his chai tea latte (expertly crafted with textured organic whole milk) braved the white covered road only to come up short. He made it as far as Canaan Heights when his Ford Explorer decided to acquaint itself with a tree on the side of Highway 32. Undeterred, the gentleman thumbed a ride to the HypnoVessel and sated himself with not one (1) but two (2) chai tea lattes; well done. Next, two (2) other patrons boarded the vessel after limping their Subie into the dock on a donut tire. Lastly, a HypnoFan and his daughter entered white-knuckled after nearly slamming into a turn signal deficient truck once it shortened the road between them.
To one (1) and all; it will be okay, these are only possessions, yes the roads are terrible, and remember, the drinks aboard the HypnoShip are worth it. You know I'm right.

Presto

2010-01-29T15:24:00.003-05:00

Well it finally happened; our commercial-insulated, super-duper french presses arrived. The long-awaited, much preferred brewing method is now in use. Our chrome beauties are just like your home french press except larger, insulated, and used by professional hands...and Cory. Now every cup of coffee enjoyed by you shall be french pressed instead of dripped.

For the uninitiated; french pressing is a brewing method wherein hot water is introduced to coarsely ground coffee, the grounds soak in the water for about four (4) minutes before the expert and handsome barista presses a screen through the grounds, forcing them to the bottom of the pot and stopping the coffee extraction. The oils contained within coffee are in the finished product as opposed to being soaked up in a paper filter, giving the cup a full-body and thick mouth-feel. Oh, and you'll pay the same amount for the superior cup of coffee.

The coffee isn't alone in the always improving category, Gary's baked goods are going through the roof. Gary is finally helping me realize my dream of selling cupcakes (don't ask). The first sample batch were espresso cupcakes with chocolate icing...oh my Lord!! As usual the HypnoVessel continues to improve her product for your drinking pleasure. You are welcome, now get some!

Charlie's, errr I mean Batman's, first bite into espresso cupcakes.

Did The Macchiato Look Like That?

2010-01-26T16:40:00.004-05:00

Thanks for the post Mr. Chase. It is encouraging to hear the "touched" photos of my facial wonderland are bringing Cory such joy. Of course, I'll keep 'em coming. The mountain top is shy another local character; Kate "no base tan" Lane is jetting across the country (America) and one (1) ocean (Pacific) en route to Kona Hawaii. Kate volunteered to pick up our order of Kona Coffee. Thanks Kate. Remember, the bag weighs sixty (60) kg, so check with the airline on checking the sack, or carry-on. I prefer you carry it on. Snow is again falling so let's lift those expectations for the next couple weekends!

Tiny Mountain Towns, Oddly, Have Best Coffee

2010-01-25T20:28:00.002-05:00

View from mystery location and place that prohibits photography (hint: the place has a home rule municipality...and many false signs...)

True pirate activity, and plenty of pirate materials seen before you. A 16 (sixteen) ounce mocha paid off high in a town that has supposedly burned down some three times. Mining has dug up the surrounding area (since 1860), like the Hypno waters, except gold is traded for coal. BOOM! BUST! RUST! This town used to be the richest place in the entire state of Colorado.

Caffè Sole, in South Boulder, has proved well on a few more visits. They have no menu. But they have a lot of choices...if you only knew them. Nearby is a Starbucks. Within one mile of that is....another Starbucks. Amazing. Another one in the grocery store nearby. Wow. Doesn't the universe have a limit to this redundancy? Hypno ought to open a nemisister store and create even more buzz just within Davis. Then people can define themselves more by choosing sides, East v. West (don't ask about the middle)....

Rock Creek was fantastic. Coffee fueled a large portion of this journey.

Please send more metrosuxual pastel pictures. Over and out.

Flood

2010-01-25T15:05:00.005-05:00

Not just a They Might Be Giants record anymore, nope, our neighbors down mountain are bailing out. The unseasonably warm climes that cause our copious amounts of snow to melt mix with rain, and bang-o we get ourselves a flood. Don't even think about flushing your commode (all folks living outside the mountain top withstanding), as Parsons is at the tipping point already.

Coupled with the natural disaster is the fact that, homeless, hungry, cold, and fore lorn, the only thing you can drink in the morning will be the tears you collect tonight. The HypnoVessel will be moth-balled, and I will be north-bound with the mission of retrieving a new oven for the HypnoAbode. By the time our landscape is covered in white and the waters have receded (or Thursday), I will hoist sails and bring you the liquid heaven you've come to expect. Fair-thee-well my friends.

Ship To Shore

2010-01-23T16:12:00.003-05:00

Our reaction to Cory's phone call.

The HypnoVessel received a ship to shore communication from Seaman Chase. The line was broken, but I understood, "retard, record, store, and laughter". One (1) can only conclude that Cory set the record for storing retards, or his retarded brother wrecked a ford into a store. Whichever it is, Cory seemed in good spirits and having fun.

Tomorrow we trip the highway fantastic for Chloe's belated bowl-o-rama at our new fave, Parr-Mat.

Tastes?

2010-01-22T21:09:00.003-05:00

Yikes...Morgan?...Really? After reading Cory's post I went directly to the source, Ben N., and he says Gary tastes like yellow cake mix and scrambled eggs. Is that what Morgan tasted? If not, than his "Pepsi Challenge" will have to be chocked up to a bit of Boulder Boy fun. Use that Mexican't sparingly, and keep sending those reports. Keep the sails full boys, and don't forget to catch an east-bound gust at some point, someday.

A Variety of Buzzes

2010-01-22T12:33:00.001-05:00

Ahoy from the High Seas of the Sealess Midwest and beyond!

Yes, the withdrawal happened soon and was unsatisfactorily semi-quelled with none other than a wicked dose of little glass jars of Starbucks coffee. I tell you this only because I had to reacquaint myself with coffee-outside-of-Hypno. It sucked...bad. The glass was not as bad as the aluminum "double shot," which is made with not-quite-the-best ingredients available under our violent bursting fission sun.

I skipped any coffee until we arrived in Boulder, upon which we found a great place to eat and then proceeded to get agave mate latte's at The Laughing Goat. This place is great. The baristas were nice, attractive, and lewd....almost like Hypno, almost.

After that break from coffee, the first morning in Boulder the boys and I got awesome bagels at Moe's Broadway bagels (Lox = Bliss) and a damn fine mocha at Vic's next door. Again, the baristas were nice 'n fine, and the fellow who steamed the milk was Gary "No R" Carr's duplicate-brother-clone-thing. Really, he looked, acted, smelled and tasted just like Gary. Morgan tasted him, not me, so we compared notes and, lo and behold, we had a match. Anygay, he steamed milk like a champ acted gay even better. Thanks, sunshine, you light up a lot in my dark (roast) life.

Upon getting enough Boulderite Buzz, we brewed up some Mexican't, mi cafe favorito, this morning and got to remember that these beans came out of the roaring furnace of the Highest Coffee Roaster in Dub V (That's Hypno, in case you didn't know....man, how high are you?) !!! The tools for buzzing are seen below. Thanks for the last little bit of Chiapas.

Well, I've worn off my buzz from all this meandering typing, time for more black gold. For those of you close to Hypno, remember that you are close to a quite awesome scene that should not be left unsupported or uningested. Can't keep count of them blessings. Thanks for letting me take the dingy for a long float. Perhaps the waves and winds will lead me back, someday....

I Want What You're Having

2010-01-21T16:47:00.005-05:00

Thursday sees the HypnoVessel again seaworthy, and just in time for freezing rain. The forecast is for more of the same; so I guess the lucky weather streak has run its course and we are back to our typical mid-Atlantic winter climes. Thanks to Phil, proprietor of Mellow Moods in Shepherdstown, WV for his patronage of the HypnoRoastery. Finally, excellent coffee can be had in She-Town! We are in the preambles of establishing a day in which we can train Phil and his crew in the art of drink building. As the hep consumer knows, just having awesome coffee isn't always enough, and it's only a matter of time before the good denizens enjoy drinks like these:

We love putting our coffee "out there", and sure do appreciate people like Phil for giving his town what we've come to expect as normal. Being isolated in a microscopic town as we are, we tend to become myoptic, and forget that the rest of America wants what we have. We here at Hypno are willing to provide it by the pound. For Hypno not to pump our caffeinated life force into the veins of America would be a disservice to man-kind and down right un-American. Nuts to that! Come one (1) come all, and belly up to a dose of liquid stimulation that locals have been treated to for two (2) years and counting. Truly amazing products are rare anywhere, but our community to have so much quality in relation to its population is stunning. Damn, we sure are lucky.

More macchiato porn

Cruise

2010-01-19T18:05:00.003-05:00

Cory pulled out of port this morning; he and his brothers looked as if they were about to enter a Hunter S. Thompson novel. His Outback Cadillac was loaded with four (4) gallons of absinthe, six (6) syringes of horse tranquilizers (thanks Bish), two (2) shotguns, and twelve (12) EPT kits. Of course, they also possess various sundries, and clean bottled urine. We all shared in an all too brief laugh; we saluted one (1) another, and off into the ether the three (3) brothers tripped. We eagerly await our first report from the edge.

Jay Reatard - "It Ain't Gonna Save Me"

2010-01-18T22:02:00.001-05:00

Catch Up

2010-01-18T21:23:00.005-05:00

Whew...not only was this one (1) of our busiest winter weekends, but it also contained two (2) birthdays, one (1) death, and finally one (1) exodus. First thing first...
Prior to this week's breakneck pace our only indentured female sailor (the Bish) opted for a land-lubber's job (euthanizing cats for Christ), and we waved adieu as the HypnoVessel pulled out of port in preparation for the big week...
Then came Charlie's fourth (4th) birthday on Wednesday. We brought the whole affair (dinosaur pancakes and sledding) to a head at Big John's. You may have heard of Big John's; a mountain top Chuckie Cheese's replete with skee ball, Pac-Man, and pizza. Cade and Carrie's lucky streak stayed alive that night with a big win on the Deal or No Deal video game (is there no stopping that winning streak?)...
The same night as Charlie's party came news of Jay Reatard's death. Don't know the Reatard? If you've boarded the HypnoVessel at all in the last six (6) months you've probably heard the strains of Jay blaring out of our speakers. It ain't everyday that a musician comes along who electrifies both father and toddler alike. Jay (like another HypnoFave out of Memphis) accomplished that goal with a simple formula of three (3) chord rock-n-roll...
In the midst of our glee, grief, and busy weekend came Chloe's big thirteenth (13th). Oh God that's right, Chloe joined the ranks of insolent teens everywhere. Glued to her Ipod she entered her teens with what else...a shopping trip...
Finally, our very own intrepid seaman, Cory, set sail in a dingy to explore the seas out west and we eagerly await his reports on the coffee he endures. Yes, of course, I sent him away with plenty of HypnoCoffee...just in case he starts going through withdrawls. In his absence, Cade and I will share the responsibility of vessel commandeering, and we plan on beginning with the next two (2) days in dry dock. Enjoy your Tuesday and Wednesday respite, I know we will.

Ship Shape

2010-01-15T14:43:00.005-05:00

Life through the eyes of my roaster.

Gird yer loins me mateys, the first of two (2) three (3) day weekends is upon us. Yar, the MLK weekend brings snow-hungry masses from occupied America to our little dot of a community. I have been busy stocking the stimulants, and both Gary and Kate have done wonders stocking the pantry. Other than a shipment of lids that is awash in the UPS ether, we appear to be ready for as many guests as want to board the vessel. Flying the spinnaker!!

Rwandan Coffee Takes Davis By Storm

2010-01-13T11:08:00.000-05:00

You haven't heard? A new bean came to town and you were not informed? For all of you who check this blog, you get an extra hint about the newest edition at Hypno: Rwanda has blessed us with green beans, roasted to perfection for our "highest roast in WV" of Rwanda Bourbon (Mr. Roasty was staying toasty with Mr. Beam, sorry, no bourbon is in the bean...).

Upon a first french press it reminded some of Mexican Chiapas with a bit more earthiness. Perhaps it is similar to a North American bean but you'll have to come and find out for yourself. Not on Wednesday, of course, since we are closed. Come by after 8 a.m. every other morning, though! Happy Sipping!

Take That!!

2010-01-09T16:53:00.002-05:00

This is what the weather atop the mountain is like...a tiger firing a machine gun! So many are enjoying the copious amounts of snow, and last night Cade (of latte artist fame) and I broke trail through the pow-pow. Charlie is still coughing from his all day sledding extravaganza last Wednesday. Stay tuned for photos. My southern brethren ought to get a kick out of this postcard-esque scenery. Note to Phil: expect retaliation soon. Phil has been sending photos of his home espresso unit based latte art, and it's pretty damn good, but not threatening.
Don't forget, the HypnoFam will be relaxing again this Wednesday and celebrating Charlie's fourth (4th), so buy your whole beans and french press your own cup Wednesday morning. Speaking of french press, keep your eyes peeled to the UPS truck, and as soon as you see Cade and I smiling, oohing and aahing, expect the house coffee to get even better.

New Year, New Rules

2010-01-02T20:31:00.002-05:00

Well, a big thank you to all who boarded the HypnoVessel New Year's Eve day and helped propel the ship to its busiest day of the year. It was one (1) helluva way to end the year! Starting Monday you will notice a few changes and as the winter yields to spring you'll notice yet more. First of all, don't show up until 8am, cause thems the new starting times. Next, don't show up at all on Wednesdays, and finally don't get too attached to your macchiato on Tuesdays either. Sit down, it'll be alright, here's the deal...
2009 was a great year for us; so many new developments, a roaster stretching its legs, amazing drink building, and the east coast's sexiest baristas, who finally gave the captain a chance to avert his eyes from the day-to-day and look to other matters...including the books. Contained within were many head scratchers, and now that my eye patch is lifted I must react to the prevailing winds. Coffee is a volume business, and when the good ladies and gentlemen of occupied America are playing in our backyard the volume is there, and the numbers work; sometimes really work. The rub lies when those good denizens head home and we are left with only one (1) another. So many of those denizens ask, "what are you doing here?" and I point out of the HypnoVessel's porthole and say "that", but the questions rattles around in my head too. When those good men and women head home to receive their latte from a Janet Jackson head-set wearing twenty-something in a drive-through window and wonder why it isn't nearly as wonderful as the drink they had at HypnoCoffee, I open and shut-down a vessel that sees only the few scurvy dawgs brave enough to sail these waters with me. We are enough for so many things, just not a seven (7) day a week coffee shop. As I dig further into the reality that is HypnoCoffee certain changes will undoubtedly come about, and I will do my best to to reach a "break-even" point that satisfies us all. Does this sound like a sun-stroked sea captain smelling mutiny, or a seasoned skipper hugging the coast and keeping safe portage within sight as the seas turn ugly?
Of course, I expect ear and email fulls of your comments and ideas, keep 'em coming, but do not expect to read your rambling here on this post. This isn't an open discussion, this is a state of the union speech, and it ain't always cake and ice-cream.

Par Matt, Bar None

2009-12-23T17:39:00.005-05:00

Holy Jingle Bells! The HypnoCrew sailed north to the port of Oakland and moored at the bowling alley for a night of Big Lewbowski-like fun; minus the white-russians plus bottled-beer and minus the weed plus the hot wings. Yes, it was our Christmas party, and yes it was a hoot. It was a real shame being beaten by Cory twice, but in the spirit of the season, we all forgave him. Kids were invited, (just in case we ran low on cash, we could always swap a baby or two (2) for another round). And in true family-fun-filled evening style we lost Charlie for a spell only to discover him hiding beneath an air hockey table, good job Charles. After sleeping through most of the first game, Ollie awoke to devour most of the food, and half of the beer, I mean milk. Speaking of food, we all enjoyed the fried-fare offered, especially the hot wings!

As I foreshadowed, Cory threw better than everyone else, but all did well-enough (the beer helped) that by the end of the night I was inquiring into joining their league. Who knows, perhaps the blog will soon fill with the conquests of your favorite coffee house scurvy dogs doing battle with Oakland's finest on the field of tenpins.

A big thanks to the very friendly crew at the Par Matt bowling alley. It takes a special cockswain to put up with the hi-jinks the HypnoCrew is involved in; our bawdy humor, grotesque language, and slovenly appearance. Finally we're not alone!

Tues. Night Party!

2009-12-17T12:15:00.006-05:00

Let's do this, December 29th around 7pm. It would help if you could stop in and tell us if you want to play, I'll even make a sign-up sheet. Get aboard, throw some latte art, down some 'nog, and feel like this...

Bonus! It's the Bish's birthday, she's turning????over a new leaf.

She'll Love Your Huge Stocking Stuffer!

2009-12-16T17:32:00.004-05:00

A big thanks to Keith (of Ivonne's husband fame) for the image today! What better advertisement for the lady or gentleman who hasn't been crossed off of your shopping list? Every one's getting pounds of coffee this year!

Would anyone out there be interested in an after-hours coffee cupping and get together before the year closes out? We'd like to invite you, the customer, behind the counter and let you experience making your own espresso drinks. That's right, teach you the secrets of our seemingly endless supply of "blowing your minds" with our coffee. I'm thinking... kick the whole deal off with a cupping of our new FTO Papua New Guinea, then get you behind the counter to talk about different brewing methods for your "at home" coffee (I know your getting some for Christmas, so you might as well know how to maximize your enjoyment), next we'll get you saddled up on the espresso machine, and finally let you guys battle it out in your own "first-day of training throwdown". Of course I'll have some Christmas Cheer on hand for your spirits. Allow me to talk to our amazing staff and pick a night...I'll get back to ya.

Turkey paves way for Christ Mass

2009-12-10T12:14:00.000-05:00

Rated R for Retarded...

Now For The Lattes

2009-11-28T09:13:00.005-05:00

Thanks to our judges, Bob, Gary, and Tasha for their help sussing out the mess, I mean lattes. Due to an odd number of participants, we set up a double-elimination contest, and the above drinks are from the second round except for Cade, who moved to the quarter-finals with that excellent pour. The quarter-finals saw Summer, Cade, and Barbara throwing junk, and Summer moved to the finals leaving Barbara and Cade battling in the semis. When the dust settled on the semis, Cade and Summer entered the Thunder-Dome in a bare-knuckles mach-off. Each barista pulled two macchiatos and submitted their best effort.

The judges stroked beards (Tasha, I never knew), deliberated, and tendered a double-secret vote ballot. Once certified by the accounting firm of the McGrath Group, Summer came out ahead twenty-five (25) to twenty-four (24). Congratulations to the first-lady of Hypno!

Every Queen deserves a crown!

What's Going On In Davis?

2009-11-28T08:41:00.006-05:00

Could this have been the first ever latte art throw down in the state of West Virginia? Surely we haven't seen every coffee shop in the state, but I would be amazed if any of the one's we have seen would ever have hosted anything resembling the amazing throw down I was a party to last night! Thanks to the many folks who braved the hazardous road conditions and helped rock the vessel to the fever-pitch that was latte art competition ala Davis, WV!

Barbara really stepped up her game, and made it to the semis.

Cade came into the night as the favorite, and that's a lot of cross to bear.

Summer also surprised the crowd with delicate, beautiful Rosetta.

Cory's always abstract milk work was in full bloom!

Even the cap'n made the scene...briefly...first one (1) in, first one (1) out.

White Friday, Cupping and Lattes

2009-11-27T13:41:00.004-05:00

Well, now that we have turned anybody without a sense of humor away from this blog, those who still have the guts to tune in should know about the 1st annual Black (White) Friday Cupping and Latte Art slamdance cosmopolis. What's that, you say?

7 pm at the HyVe:

MSBC Word Up, Shop 'n Save Word Up, Colombia Kenya Sumatra Word Up!!! Many thanks to our sponsors for all of their, unbeknowest to them, generous support and invisible hands.

Come compete, if you dare, or watch, if you dare, or pester.

Anything but welcoming

2009-11-23T09:49:00.002-05:00

Careful kids, this is rated R.

Message In A Blog-tle

2009-11-18T16:30:00.003-05:00

Chloe wishes to hi-jack the HypnoBlog in order to say hello to her friend Victoria, "hi". Victoria is a dear old friend of C-lo and she misses her. We are sure Victoria is doing well back at C-lo's old Montessori school, and playing lots of sports just to keep her well rounded. Hi also to Victoria's folks, Kevin and Shelly. We trust everyone is doing well and we look forward to getting together as soon as is allowed.

Road Bikes In The Dirt?

2009-11-18T09:31:00.004-05:00

The Hypno-Highland complex was proud and privileged to host the first cyclocross race in Davis over the weekend. Sixty-two (62) racers pedaled around the vessel's side lot, normally used as a Highway 32 debris collection site, the yard turned into a race course. Our local boys and girls brought it to visitors, with Mackie taking second in his division, and Jason taking the gold in the pro-stud category. Welcome to Davis, watch us take the podium and now you may go home! Thanks to J.R. for bringing the event to our town and our doorstep!

Josh kicked with the fray, and as evidenced by the photos, he like all the riders, enjoyed the climb to our volleyball court. Josh, did ye place?

Fine Art

2009-11-18T09:12:00.005-05:00

The entire crew from cap'n to yeoman be steppin' up dey game, and the art in your cup is the booty. Check out the latest from first-lady, Summer...

Not to be left out, da Bish, fires back with the following...

Of course, the better we get by pushing one (1) another, the greater your reward. Speaking of your reward... we are in the latter planning phases for a Black Friday Throw-down Party, and you are invited. We plan on kicking things off with a cupping of some of our single-origin coffees, followed by a latte art throw-down; just to show off. The throw-down is open to any coffee slingers who can make it aboard the vessel. Cade and I plan on personally inviting as many baristas from Morgantown as will listen, and of course every barista from HypnoVessel Vienna is invited (neigh, challenged). To assist with whipping the party into a frenzy of smack-talk and jeers whilst your baristas battle in the semi-circle, we will have a keg of HypnoStout on hand (that's right, the amalgam of Mountain State Stout and HypnoEspresso!). The shebang should kick-off around 7:30-ish.

Alden's hazelnut cap, as prepared by the cap'n...

Thirteen (13).............

2009-11-13T11:53:00.004-05:00

13.

It's the cost, before tax, of one (1) pound of supa' deelish Hypno-Booty and one White Room Button or Postcard (mini-print?).

13.

It's the amount of seconds it (usually) takes for your boring decaf Americano to fill up two one-ounce shot glasses.

13.

It's how old the eldest Hypno-Kid will be on her unbeknowest to me lucky birthday.

13.

It's how many cups o' Joe you would need to drink in order to even come close to matching the energy level of one Canaan Valley hermit snow gnome many call Chipper.

13.

It's how many times an hour Hypno Staff have to tell people that the silver shining airpots full of black gold that wait patiently to be pumped in the front of the biznatch are actually full of black gold....and only one buck!

13.

It's how old I was in 1996, when Slick Willy got re-elected.

13.

It's a number.

Scary Monsters, Super Freaks

2009-11-02T09:07:00.004-05:00

Kim was assaulted later in the night by the League of Front Street Women.

The not-so-great pumpkin.

Hollywood starz abound!

Three (3) Chases.

Our community sure does like to dress up. Any excuse will do, and Halloween is THE excuse. Even the HypnoCaptain and First Lady made it out sans children. The neighbor watching was first class and as always, the Mountain State Pub crew treated us like royalty, thanks! Kim took the cake with her costume, pictured above. Unfortunately, a group of girls (mostly from Front Street) took offense to her outfit and during a drunken fervor pummeled the girl with fists and feet, both drenched in patchouli oil. Not since the first "bush" administration have I seen such carnage.

Flowers, cards, and cash donations can be left at the HypnoVessel, care of Tony Williams. Other than the flourish of violence, the night was a complete success!