Sunday, October 5, 2008

Welcome To The Dollhouse

Nick with One Night Stand Barbie
Gary's "friend" Skipper

At Gary's behest I must mention the accessories associated with the new line of dolls in production from the company that brought you the "Don't ask, don't tell" line of Army Men, Mantell.

The Nick Doll: fresh from a late night, Nick stumbles home still holding his bottomless pint glass, and wreaks havoc in his munchie-filled apartment kitchen, leaves his psychotic dog, Bob Barker out all night, and finally retires to his sweat-stained bed.

The Gary Doll: a busy beaver, Gary arrives in his bakery before dawn, puts on the surprisingly motivational Ella Fitzgerald CD, dons his oven-mitt, and gets to the task of making fabulous muffins.

The words in italics are accessories available for purchase, and of course, sold separately. Not out yet, but in the pipeline are Nick's DUI jail cell, one-night stand Barbie, dream-pub playhouse, and ridden-in-guilt-and-remorse-only Cannondale mountain bike. Not to be outdone, the Gary Doll's future accessories include a Philadelphia Freedom Jeep Liberty, a forged prescription for Xanax, queer-a-mid hairstyle kit, and the unboyfriendable, overweight, wallflower friend, Skipper.

Your little girl will love these under the Christmas tree this year, and with Mantell at the helm of doll creation, the dolls and accessories are limited only by their imaginations and cheap Chinese labor.


an elf at the north pole said...

and cheap Chinese labor
. .. heyyyyyyyy. dude!!!! as a representative and worker from the local toy making division for one Mr S Claus at da North pole. we want you to know we resent our work being OUTSOURCED.. you just better hope you dont get LEAD paint showing in those barbies,to say nothing of the gary doll etc in the mens division showing to much wood. .

Anonymous said...

Hey dude!!! What do you mean, "unboyfriendable, overweight, wallflower friend"??? Is that really her picture? Skipper would have her choice of guys at Mountain State. Can you give me her phone # please?

Anonymous said...

skipper is not about dirty hippies...sorry