Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The First, Backfiring


Now you did it. If you were the constructor of the above pictured sign that was found hanging in Thomas across from the Fiddle this morning, let this serve as your warning.
Here's how it happened; Gary boarded the HypnoVessel with news of this "Free" promotion advertised on Front Street and wondered whom I had made mad. Since compiling a list of people who are mad at me would take entirely too much time we just called the sheriff instead. He cut the sign down (it was chained and padlocked to a telephone pole) informed us that chaining and locking the sign was the prosecutable crime (apparently making false claims about a business is A-Okay in WV) and he will begin investigating this morning. He seems to already have some suspects he plans to interview, and picking up on my acrimony he assured me of swift and maximum justice. This took place before eight (8) am. The perpetrator was probably still in his or her slumber, sleeping the sleep of the mischievous and impudent when the long arm of the law rolled-up its sleeve and began groping its way around Thomas.

All of this before the requisite amount of caffeine and a glance towards the calendar. I was reconciling my checking account for chrissakes, and never even noticed; "April 1st" and that registering...April Fool's Day! Oh crap, I am sorry. I started a ball rolling in anger, and now I can't stop it! Wheels are in motion and some prankster is about to be ground within them, at my behest. My deepest and most sincere apologies for the trouble I have caused you.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I confess, then do I get the free coffee and bagels?

HypnoBlog said...

I say the truth shall set you free, and free up some coffee and bagels to boot. Summer says, just to confess, Seth.

seth. said...

hey.
my sign would look way better than that.
you're obviously dealing with an extremely immature artist.

seth.

Cory said...

I figured it would be Seth.
In a way, though, it might bring in some biz once people realize that quiches rule! Not to mention the excellency of Gary's treats...and seth would have put a grinning alien fellow giving out heart bagels from the open cabinet that is his belly.