Syntax

I speak for many when I say, "what happened?" I am referring of course to the Heckbender controversy. So many folks are pistoled off and think that shiatsu like this can not stand. These purveyors of burritos and foul language must be stopped! I don't even say "hello" because the foul word contained within, and to say "hello" is to condemn that person to a life of eternal fire and damnation. Rob knew hydro-dam well what he was doing when he named his restaurant after Satan's pet amphibian. He even serves food containing "seitan" which is, as we all know, the French spelling of Satan, Rob's dark lord. Heckbender has been forking around this issue for too long, it is time for a name change, neigh a soul change. I mean what's next, shitake and roasted cockatoo with homemade titillating pussy-willow sauce served on a fine piece of West Virginia asphault? Before it comes to this; the time to act is now!

In a community with so little to talk about, it is both rare and fun to have a controversy like this one. I am truly jealous of the attention Rob and Melissa are afforded with this misunderstanding. I wish Summer had allowed me to name our place, "Robin's Red Breast Cafe." No, we haven't forgotten about you Robin.