Here's hoping today finds you celebrating your independence from: your dead-end job, your crappy relationship, your lousy neighbors, your expanding mid-riff, your shrinking appendages, your British Monarchy, your growing debt, your bad habits, your over-bearing parents, your student loans, your nagging wife, your lazy husband, your summer malaise, your hangover, your insolent children, your worries, your fears, your shortcomings, your enemies, and yourself.
It's official: fireworks are cancelled, maybe tomorrow. If you are fortunate/unfortunate enough to toil in the glamorous world of retail this weekend; hold tight, relief is on the way, and over drinks we shall swap battle stories and show off our scars.
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