Thursday, February 5, 2009

Gettin' Stimulated

Gangsta Char.

Being so close to D.C. has its benefits. Earlier this week a gentleman boarded the HypnoVessel wearing a Department of the Treasury patch on his jacket. Oh, I thought, finally my coffee shop bailout government stimulus check had arrived, and hand delivered no less! It seemed like years since I petitioned for the money, filled out the forms, wrote my plea, told how I employ the degenerates, unemployable, laid-off, and mentally challenged minorities of the Davis-Thomas area, and at last my quest for small business success in remote America will be championed by the government that has helped so many others. I flashed a Cheshire-like grin, greeted him as if he were a savior, and held out my hand. Imagine my feeling of defeat and deflation as he informed me he was only aboard my vessel to procure a latte. I informed him of my acquaintance with income amounts of $5.00 and under and that surely he was pulling my leg, and seriously, let us head to the bank and deposit that bailout stimulus money. Well, unfortunately it was not a jest, and he truly sought caffeination only, in fact, he hadn't even heard of any coffee shops being bailed out, stimulated, or in other words assisted by Uncle Sam. Reluctantly, I made his latte and rung him up for $1,285,863.88.


Anonymous said...

Why do you need a bailout when you have Supergirl/ Superbaby [Gretchen] to save you?

Miss all you guys,

HypnoBlog said...

Unfortunately and surprisingly Gretchen isn't sending any money our way, neither is Charlie by the way. Do you know of any baby modeling agents looking for talent?

Jack McG said...

You must be careful that you void that transaction correctly in your records or someone might find it in your records and levy an appropriate tax against said documented revenue