There's something new on our menu, and many of you are going to want this little item. I know the price seems a bit steep, but have faith, I will reduce you to tears for that price. So, on that day when you really need that father-like berating, telling you how worthless you really are, pointing out your myriad of flaws, and reminding you of your failures, than put your $6.95 on the counter. Just like Daddy, I 'll set you straight, imaging myself as the man who keeps you on the right path. It's therapeutic for us both. If you feel (and really you should) that the fatherly guidance yelling isn't what you need, perhaps I can interest you in an expletive filled rant reminiscent of your last encounter with a criminally insane homeless person or Roger (of Blackwater Bikes fame). Always eager to please you, I will customize my yelling to suit your needs. Man, I treat you so well. Don't I...DON'T I, DAMMIT!!
7 comments:
Sounds like boredom is really sitting in or maybe its those Thomas sewer fumes...
I don't know who anonymous is...but you'll please excuse me for saying that your comment seems a bit out of touch. This blog post is some of the most relevantly hilarious hundred words or less. The pinnacle of the amazing esthetic set up in this blog. Self aware and coy as well. I'm setting aside my six ninty-five and look forward to the delicious dish of wrath that awaits me in Thomastown. Bravo!, you are killing me, man.
Ben Nelson
Whatever your way outta touch dude...
If there were boredom, or trouble staying in touch I have found the solution to both, and at $6.95 it's a bargain. One can barely afford two pints at the pub for that amount (not even two if you tip appropriately) and lets face it, two pints will neither relieve your boredom or get you in touch.
Why should I pay $6.95 (six dollars and ninety-five cents) + (plus) tax if I can get it for free from Roger at Blackwater Bikes?
Because I am a professional, seeing you for who you really are, customizing the tirade to YOU.
Post a Comment