Aye Aye, Captain Ho!

Aaargh me lubby dubby land lubbers, it seems that our newest little galley slave, Logan L. has actually done something up in the crow's nest while swiggin' grog and usin' the scope for mostly babe-searchin'...he has spotted a small white boat headin' this here way! Accordin' to his leery sight it seems that our desertin' Captain is returnin' from the low seas of southern Amerimacchiato. The only thing risin' down there is the temperature, me lucky lubbers!

So keep yer knives at the ready (in yer mouth), for there may be some strange ideas comin' aboard the ship....like actually makin' these grubby thieves pay the right price for a cup of amazing gold booty-tooty. Got a problem with these comin' changes in our time of "economic downturn" (this has no relevance to we pirates, who are not integrated into an unclear system that is designed to profit only the super-rich and leave most floundering for the broken pieces floatin' in the red ocean...)??? Then you ought to get out into the upside down society and scrape up more bullion for yer habit, er, addiction...

And here is our latest report: