Thursday, May 13, 2010

You May Need A Job


The nineteen-nineties called the HypnoVessel this week and asked for their prices back. Well, two (2) years of cut-throat prices was pretty good, but now the french pressed, micro-roasted, hand-selected coffee you've been enjoying at the pump is $2.00. Not to be presumptuous about your money, we are increasing the size of the cup to sixteen (16) ounces (meaning the price increase is a reasonable .50). While you're down; allow me, sir and madam, to keep kicking...no more free refills, you will pay $1.00 for your thirst and greed.

And for your wanting face holes...I tender a delicate Ethiopia Yirgacheffe, our always brilliant Sumatra Mandheling, and for the rest of the week, only !!! Espresso! Oh so good. Speaking of espresso, maybe with this price at the pump jacking you should consider moving up to espresso drinks. I'll make it easy, just ask to test-drive a macchiato, and until May 17th, it's on me.

5 comments:

Matt said...

The chart says $2/gallon (two dollars per sixty-four fluid ounces). What gives?

HypnoBlog said...

Wait...16 ounces ain't a gallon? Dang metric system...screw you england, that's why we kicked yer ass in da 17 hundreds !

Anonymous said...

Do you plan to raise the prices again in two months--claiming your shipping costs have gone up? One Hundred Twenty Five (125)miles from Shepherdstown is a long way to ship a bean. You better find a cheap delivery bitch!

HypnoBlog said...

Maybe I will. What are you going to do about it? At $2.oo my coffee is still a bargain, what other product is so good yet so inexpensive? Besides, what makes you think there will be a coffee shop here in 2 months? The amazing consumer base?

Channy said...

Considering I sit in my kitchen rocking back and forth until the next bag is shipped to my house, I'd say it sounds like fair play.